CHANGE

CHAPTER 4: LOOKS THE SAME, FEELS DIFFERENT

As I was driving up to the Cameron's house I had no idea what to expect, I couldn't imagine how Mr. Cameron was feeling about his daughter being presumed dead. And Wheezie, oh I couldn't imagine how hurt she must be, I hope I did the right decision in coming back. As I pulled up to their house I was debating even getting out at all, I wasn't sure if I could face them all. But when I pulled up I saw two cop cars, and I figured it was because of Sarah but why two?

I walked out of my car and up to the front door, I was going to knock but I noticed the door was slightly open. I walked in and everything looked the same, it kinda blew my mind how almost nothing has changed here but it feels like everything has changed. I don't know why but when I walked in I felt like crying, I think everything might have hit me all of a sudden but I felt so sad. It came to my mind that all the memories I had with Sarah we're gone, and so was she. I would never see her again all because I decided to be selfish and leave everything here, I just know things would be different if I hadn't left. I heard Ward in the direction of the kitchen talking, but he was too far for me to hear anything. 

I was going to head to the kitchen, but I went upstairs to Sarah's room instead. 

When I walked into her room I closed the door behind me and just looked around. She still had pictures of me, her and Kie up in her room, I smiled slightly at the thought of Sarah keeping these pictures up. I walked over to her bed and just laid down and starred at the roof, then I started thinking about what I was even doing back in the Outer Banks. What was the point in me coming back, there's nothing for me to do here anyway. It's not like I can bring Sarah back, or heal anyone's pain.

I sat back up and walked towards her bedroom door, and when I left I closed it quietly. Then I looked over to Rafe's door and thought for a second about if I should go in or not. At first I turned towards the stairs, then changed my mind and thought, fuck it, and I went in. 

When I walked in it smelled like a mix of his cologne and weed. I just stood by the door as I closed it behind me, looking around. Me being me I started walked around, just snooping a little, without trying to move too many things. I opened a drawer and found the last picture me and Rafe took together. We took it two days before I left, since I knew I was leaving I asked if we could go to the beach all day and as the sun was getting ready to set we asked a lady to take a picture of us. He has his arms wrapped around me and his head resting on top of mine. We were both so red from being outside all day and forgetting to put on sunscreen, looking at the picture I could almost feel the pain of the sunburn I had later that night. I held the picture in my hand and sat on his bed then laid back holding the picture up to look at it. 

When I laid back all I could smell was his cologne, it made me never want to leave again. I laid there holding the picture close to my chest and started crying. I didn't want anyone in the house to hear my sobs so I covered my mouth with my hand. But the more I let my thoughts wander, the more intense I would cry.

I felt like I had finally arrived back home, but I knew I would have to leave as soon as I could or I wouldn't ever leave. This was my home, laying in Rafe's bed reminded me of all the nights we spent together and all the time we spent together. The picture he has of us reminded me of everything I left behind, not just Rafe but Kie and Sarah. And now Sarah was dead, now I could never tell her how sorry I am for leaving and never saying anything to them again. 

My eyes were over filling with tears and they wouldn't stop coming. I just kept wiping my tears with the bottom of my shirt because I didn't want to get his sheets wet from my tears or he'd come home confused. I closed my eyes for a second because my eyes started to feel heavy and I just started breathing slowly to calm myself down.

Suddenly I open my eyes and it's dark outside, and I only woke up because I heard Ward yell, "Rafe!"

I walked to the door to try and listen as to why he was yelling.

I heard Rafe yell back, "what, what is it this time."

"Rafe don't you get what we're trying to do over here, we can't have you leaving off for days at a time without letting us know. I'm trying to save this family and you're not helping by leaving us here without answers."

"Well dad I don't know what you want me to do," I was wondering what they were talking about. A million questions came to my mind about what Ward meant by saving this family and why he had to do it at all. Everyone loves the Cameron's and there's no way there would even be an issue they would need to get saved out of, unless Rafe did shoot the Sheriff.

"Rafe, I'm trying to clean up your mess," it suddenly dawned on me. Rafe did shoot the Sheriff and Ward is trying to cover it up, I looked down at the photo still in my hand and my eyes watered realizing that if Rafe really did that, then he really wasn't the same guy I fell in love with.

Suddenly Rafe yelled back, "this is your mess too dad. I'm not the one who went around killing people like its a sport."

It went quite, I couldn't hear anything for like a minute and all of a sudden I heard someone coming up the stairs. I put the picture on the dresser and bolted out of his room through the window and jumped down. I used to do this a lot but holy shit, I forgot how much it hurts my legs when I hit the ground. I ran around the house and jumped in the car and drove off to the bone yard to meet JJ, Pope and Kie.

On my way there the only thing on my mind was what Rafe had said about Ward killing people like it was a sport. I was in shock and just replayed those words over and over again in my head. Ward could never do such a thing, everything felt like a lie, everything changed here even if it doesn't look like it did. 

It feels like I came home to my childhood house with a load of bad renovations.

I pulled up to the boneyard and saw JJ, Pope and Kie all sitting on the ground around a little fire they made. I walked up to all of them and Kie smiled and pulled me in for a hug and said, "hey, I'm glad you came back."

"Thanks Kie, but I think I might go back to L.A in a few days rather than the time I planned on staying."

She looked sad and confused, "what why, you know you're always welcome here, and we're really glad you're back."

"Kie that's just you and your family, plus there's nothing I can do here anyway."

JJ popped his head in and said, "hey, I'm sorry about what I said earlier, if it's about that I didn't mean it like that. I'm just upset because I miss John B and we all kinda feel off without him."

I smiled over at JJ and said, "no trust me it's not because of what you said, it's okay."

Kie mumbled, "I bet Rafe would be glad your here too."

It went quite for a moment, all you could hear was the crackling fire. Then Pope spoke up and said, "great going Kie, now she'll definitely leave."

I laughed at Pope's joke, which caused everyone else to laugh too. We all hung out there for like 3 hours and started to get tired so we all headed out. Kie asked me if I would be heading to her house and I told her I'd meet her there. 

I wanted to go somewhere first, I checked the time and it was 2:34 am. I thought it was kinda late but wanted to go anyway, so off I went to my favorite part in all of Outer Banks.

Authors Note: 

Next chapter is going to get spicy guys, I'm so excited. Sorry about the updates taking forever but school has got me pretty busy. But I'll try and write the next part this upcoming week and publish it sometime over the weekend. We'll see, but you guys it's about to get really good !