Unbelievable. (Drake Christopher Henning)

Chapter 11- Being Myself

I had decided to stay the night at my moms house and go to school again the next day, even though I never wanted to leave. I wasn't about to let my education suffer just so I could stay home all day. Once I got to school I saw Drake and I told him everything about the previous day and it made me so happy. He got so excited just like I did.

When I went into history, I saw that we had a substitute teacher. Everybody was being rude to him and acting like assholes and I just saw all sorts of horseplay. I will never understand why people don't treat teachers (especially substitutes) with the respect they deserve. I sat at my table next to the biggest douche in the class and tried my hardest not to push all of his things off of his desk.

Once they went too far with all the jokes and such, I yelled,  "Do you guys seriously have nothing better to do than bother an innocent guy? Seriously? Get a life."

"At least we don't look like some fat emo kid from 2009," the guy beside me said.

"Oh go fuck yourself" I grunted in response.

I'm so tired of taking everybody's shit based on my appearance. I mean yeah I wish I looked different and I'm not into the same things I was before, but that doesn't mean I can't change, right? I mean, it's not because I have really bad insecurities (even if I'm a tad chubby, doesn't mean I don't love my size) or anything. It's because I'm tired of the same old thing every day. Maybe I'll change.

• • • • • • • • • • •

School ended and I kissed Drake goodbye and went home. I got to my house and I went to my room and looked at the body mirror I have in there and sat down in front of it. I grabbed my haircutting scissors and sat a towel down. I didn't know if I was really going to do it, but I kind of wanted to. I sat down the scissors on my dresser and headed out to the mall to look for something. On the way I was listening to Set It Off and Twenty One Pilots.

I got to the mall and I went to my favorite store. It always had these gorgeous dresses for sale and I've had my eye on a few of them. I've been saving up for like anything and I finally found some things worth spending it on. I walked in and  found a dress my size and tried it on. I looked gorgeous. I grabbed a few more things and tried them on and bought a few. I went and got dirty blonde hair dye and some new shoes and some new makeup then left.

I got back home and decided that I wanted to cut my hair first then start to dye my hair. I was just so tired of having scene hair and having purple so I decided that I wanted to give myself a cute pixie cut and have amazing dirty blonde hair. I don't know man I just think I would look super cute with it.

I finished my hair and took a shower. I think I might finally look kind of close to what I want to look like. I still have stretched lobes, but that is actually part of what I want to look like. I decided that I truly wanted to let myself look how I felt I wanted to look. After all, what all is keeping me from truly being that way? Money, maybe. But I have a paying job and my bills aren't that expensive.  If I ever do get in a pinch then maybe my mom would help me out. But above all, I want to be myself for once.

I decided not to tell Drake about this and to see if he still wanted to be with me and such after he saw what I changed and such. I hope he doesn't mind what I changed and actually maybe even thinks that I look better if anything. I didn't want to be in the dark anymore. I'm going to be myself.