|| ship; kshaw
|| warnings; mentions of rape, trans!harry, trans pregnancy, mentioned mental health conditions and self harm
|| words; 1.3k
** THIS STORY CONTAINS SENSITIVE CONTENT/ MATURE THEMES. PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION **
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Harry's been off for a while.
JJ can tell. He likes to think he knows his boyfriend well enough to notice these things.
The little things.
Well, not so little now.
It all started a couple of months ago.
Harry got into a fight, at a bar. That's what he said it was. JJ's not so sure now.
Came home crying, with a black eye, a split lip, and bruises all over him. Refused to tell JJ what happened beyond the fact that he got beat up. Because he probably knew that if JJ found out who did it, he would make them wish they hadn't even looked at Harry.
JJ tried not to think too much of it. Held Harry for a while as he cried, then cleaned up his wounds when he finally calmed down. Took him to bed, and kept him close. Harry fell asleep quickly, still shivering, even though it wasn't cold. And he was safe.
He didn't seem to feel safe.
Ever since that night, he's been getting nightmares.
He'd wake up shouting and crying, in cold sweats. Looking around frantically, dragging his nails into JJ's chest, eyes wide.
Sheer terror.
It would usually take JJ a good ten minutes to calm him down, only for Harry to tell him that it was just a stupid nightmare, and he's sorry for waking him. Then would settle back down, with his back to JJ. Embarrassed almost. And still shaking, if only slightly.
Nightmares aren't the only thing JJ has noticed since that night.
Harry's anxiety has got worse. Much worse. To the point where it's affecting his every day life again.
It'd taken years for JJ to get used to Harry's anxiety. And to help him with it. To know what he needs, when he needs it.
It had been at a manageable level for about six months before the incident.
Harry had grown in character and self confidence so much. JJ thought it was beautiful, to see his boyfriend be so relaxed in situations that would normally make him unbearably anxious. He was able to be himself; unrefined, with as little anxiety as possible.
But now, he's backtracked so much.
Can't get public transport, at least not alone. Hates going into shops. Constantly, JJ can see him glancing around the room, watching the people around them, waiting for someone to make a move against him.
Tight posture.
Wary expression.
JJ hates to see it. Especially when Harry had come on so much.
He's started self harming again too.
Seems to think that JJ hasn't noticed. But he has.
Just doesn't want to risk making Harry upset by bringing it up.
Monitors the amount of cuts he sees on his boyfriend's forearms, and how deep they are. Can't really do much more than that.
Harry's body has changed in other ways as well.
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oneshots • sidemen
Fanfiction{INFREQUENT POSTING} oneshot book for the sidemen and friends. - disclaimer: these people i'm writing about are real! i'm not in any way trying to suggest that this is actually what's happening between them, i know all of the sidemen are straight, a...
