To Love, Once Again

Chapter 76

Lucien murmured under his breath. "A bad father?"

Considering the question in a low tone of voice...

He didn't have the answer to that question. His own father had provided him with food and board, which was more than some of the other soldiers he'd met during the Great War. While those that surrounded him at first had been mostly nobles, Lucien had seen that on a battlefield, nobility wasn't what kept you alive. It was good instincts and a strong body. Those that grew up in illustrious knight households like Icaros was would have that, but the other noble pups that came to have a taste of Azark blood? He'd seen them die like the rest of them, bits of them scattering to pieces on the ground wet with the blood of friend and foe.

That was when he'd started to gather the ones he'd seen with promise. The hardy ones, that hungered for the battle. The wily ones, that predicted the enemies' next steps. The dutiful ones, that would never give up, to protect their homes and families. Among the hardy ones especially were young men with no father or mother. Many of them were street orphans that had been abandoned by their families, like the ones Sera cared for. Those were the ones that gathered to the army recruitment tents, joining the Thornmere army to get food in their bellies and a cot to sleep upon.

Lucien's father had given him a lot more than those orphans had. And in that same manner, Lucien had provided for his own son, Leo. A beautiful cottage, delicious food, and maids to watch over him and nurture him. 

His frown grows deeper. "I don't think I'm a bad father. But neither am I a good father. As your sire, our blood connects us together."

Short. Succinct. That was the response that Lucien could come up with. But it didn't satisfy the curious young child sitting at the table.

"Bwad fwather?" He asks again this time swiveling his small head towards Sera.

Sera vehemently shakes her head at Leo's question. "If Lucien's a bad father, than I'm an even worse mother!" 

"Why mama??" Large eyes wavered at his Mama's outburst. The pure trust shining out of Leo's eyes made Sera feel sick. She'd been the one to abandon this. And this sweet boy thought she was a fairy that finally returned from fairy land because of the flowers he'd planted. Maybe she should tell him. That she'd chosen to leave.

.....was it foolish of her to try to fix this family? Had her actions destroyed the relationship until it was past repairing? Biting her lip, her fingers clutch the white tablecloth that trailed underneath the tabletop.

"I-! I-" The simple corset around her waist feels tighter than a vise, clamping around her. Breath rushing out in harsh gasps, she parted her lips to answer.

But it was Lucien that came to her rescue.

"A lesson my father did teach me" he picks up a fork to lift a round egg custard tart, placing it on a clean plate. He does the same for the bowl of salad, scooping up the greens and laying them next to the egg tart.

"Egg tarts are delicious, yes?"

"Ywes" Leo's small head bobs up and down in agreement.

"And these vegetables, not so much?"

"Ywes" Leo begins to bob his head up and down, but changes the direction of his bobbing with the sharp look Lucien sends towards his small clenched fist. He'd known when Leo had secretly wiggled to hide the veggies he'd pretended to eat in the pockets of his trousers.

"No..." Small shoulders sag as Leo admits his guilt.

"But I'm sure Bea tells you to eat lots of vegetables, and not the tart. Why?" From the corner of his eye, Lucien can see Bea's shoulders give a start at the sudden mention of her name.