Class of 2000

Chapater four

I pulled into the school parking lot in my little, old station wagon that my mom had before she got her fancy Lexus, I don't mind it's a nice car, plus kind of a "punk rock wannabe" vibe and you can play cassette tapes which is the icing on the Volvo cake. Alisa stopped by my car as I was putting in park, scarring the shit out of me, she hopped in the car so fast, her black rimed glasses nearly fell off in the parking lot.
"WHAT HAPPENED!?" She asked me with an urgent tone of voice
"What the hell are you talking about? you scared me half to death!"
She took a pause, and looked shocked
"Y-You know, the sex?" And now my brain was even more frazzled I was thinking Tyra had sex with someone else and it was so scandalous or some shit like that
"Who had sex?" I asked, Alisa look just as confused as me, then she said the words that drained the color from my body
"The sex between you and Charlie?" I was mortified, not only did we not have sex, the fact everyone is talking about it enough for nobody's likes Alisa and I to know about it, terrifies me to see everyone's reaction to me walking in, because not only am I terrified, I'm fucking pissed off. Not only did Charlie, use me as a pawn in his setup, he told people we had sex and I want to know why.
I walked through the halls of the school, seeing everyone look at me and not through me was insane, I have never had the chance to be even looked at by the popular kids at the school, I was overlooked. Tyra approached me with a smug look in her face, followed by her three stalkers, well her minions but might well be her stalkers, follow her around and dress like her enough. Tyra's mouth began to open and all I wanted to hear was the sound of "Wamp, wamp" like the parents in Charlie Brown sound, but because reality exists, her mouth opened with her pompous arrogance and I was not in the mood.
"So, congrats on the loss of your v-card and on behalf of the squad and I, we got you a little something" I was surprised when I see Tyra of all people giving me a gift, but knowing her there is always a hidden agenda. I opened the gift bag and pull out a throw pillow, I was confused
"What the hell is this?"
"Well, it's a pillow I mean it must be hard spending all that time on your back" she said with an attitude and making the snide comment of me being a whore
"Screw you, Tyra and the homeless people sleeping under your breasts"
I said throwing the "gift" back in her face and walking away in a stride while also holding back tears and forbidding myself letting them see me cry and run off to the bathroom. If I though Charlie was different before, I don't want to even see him now

Growing up, I've always had this need to please people, seeking validation from strangers from what I couldn't get at home. My parents may live together and we give this appearance of one big "happy" family, but it's all a lie, my dad works late at the office to avoid coming home when my mom is awake, he has always barely paid attention to me and the only time he did, was when he would get I trouble with my mother and feel bad for neglecting his duties as a father, but of course would go back to his ways within two weeks time. That validation from strangers I told you about earlier, is lost my from men. Men I hardly know, I.M random guys I met at a coffee shop or nobody I knew at all, just to get what I craved the most, daddy's attention.
So when the time came and Charlie popped back into my life, I was stoked, nothing could beat that feeling, those butterflies, that glimmer in my eye and the whole rockets red glare, I was finally seeing my worth. Then leave it to me to put my faith and get another man, for him to shit the bed and mess it all up, I just want to be someone's first choice and not the one someone thinks as a quick hookup.
I was walking to class and I see Charlie, listening to music on his Walkman and going into the bathroom, well, I channeled my inner badass and followed him right in there to figure out just what in the hell is going on.
"What the hell!?" He shouted "Get out, Caroline!"
"Hell, no, I'm not leaving until you tell me just what is your fucking problem?" I said with pure anger
"I- I- I don't know what you're talking about" Charlie just lied right to my face and when he lies, he is never able to look someone in the eye plus he gets a bad stutter.
"Yeah, Charlie, don't lie to me, you stutter like a bad report card when you're lying, now, why in the hell, would you tell people we had sex?"
He put his back up against the sink, took off his headphones and crossed his arms and looked at me with shame in his eyes.
"You're right, I am lying, but it's not what you think"
"Oh, fuck, just tell me what I think, because what I think is you came over to my house just to prove to your friends that you can get some ass"
"Well, I did come over to your house to apologize, but when the kiss happened, I told my friends when I left, they assumed I had sex, so they spread the rumor, not me"
That's when I was hurt the most, he gave me this speech acting like it wasn't his fault, but it was just another reason why I can't trust him anymore
"But you didn't stop them, you're just another lier and I can't forgive you, now everyone thinks I'm a whore because of you"
I walked out of the bathroom in tears, because my first love, took away pieces of myself I can't get back and I just don't wanna be me anymore.