No Going Back

30

We can form a single united body, while the enemy must split up into fractions. Hence there will be a whole pitted against separate parts of a whole, which means that we shall be many to the enemy’s few.
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The Art of War
Sun Tzu

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Someone rather philosophical and wise once speculated that time would heal all wounds.

It was a pretty sentiment, one aimed at sparking hope and providing reassurance for a brighter future. Especially in those dark days after enduring a certain trauma, those suffering wanted to receive promises that the pain of the past would eventually fade. And in its place, only resilience and courage would remain.

It was a comforting and inspiring thought, though the saying wasn't necessarily true.

Sure, maybe the wounds would heal with time. Maybe the jagged edges would soften into something more tolerable, slowly eliminating those sharp bursts of pain that arose from the slightest of contact. But that didn't mean the wounds would disappear entirely; time did not have the power to erase the hardships from existence. Life wouldn't effortlessly revert to a state of ease and contentment.

No, scars would inevitably form in the place of those wounds, which were immune from the effects of time. They would remain no matter the days, months, or years that passed, serving as a constant reminder that something terrible did occur. But the beauty of bearing scars was that they signaled the end of the physical pain; they indicated that the wound did not destroy the person.

And over the last few days in particular, that was what Taehyung attempted to work towards: healing his wounds so that he could ultimately - and proudly - wear his scars.

Immediately following the murders, he didn't try to reconcile his past whatsoever. On the contrary, he did everything in his power to avoid thinking about what happened, to shield his mind from the visions of his trauma. The smallest hint of all he faced was enough to send him into a full-body panic attack, and quite honestly, Taehyung didn't know how to cope. So he ran in the opposite direction and let his wounds fester.

And they did.

Those wounds became infected, inflicting more misery and slowly poisoning his life. It wasn't healthy and Taehyung knew it.

Taehyung's mindset had shifted, however, when he first allowed himself to grieve. No longer did he want the senseless tragedy and suffering he experienced to constrict his future. He wanted to mend his wounds and do all he could to move on, all while knowing that he'd never be able to forget. But that was okay; he realized it took more strength to form scars than to persist as a victim with open wounds.

In order to see that process through, he knew what needed to be done: Taehyung had to return to this safe house to acknowledge his past, bury his ghosts, and fully absolve himself from his guilt.

But when this understanding dawned on him, the timing just wasn't right. He knew it wasn't safe to visit this house, and truthfully, he wasn't anywhere near ready to return. So he wisely decided to stay away, to work on rebuilding the broken pieces of his soul so one day that scar tissue could adequately develop. And one day, flaws and all, he'd recover and move forward.

It would take time, but Taehyung would get there.

But all of his progress came to a stop when he failed to consider one vital question: what would happen if the same wound - the one that was attempting to heal but not quite there - experienced more trauma before a scar had formed?

The answer was quite clear - the damage would become exponentially worse.

And now it was too late.

Taehyung never contemplated how he would cope if forced into a similar situation where he risked losing a loved one. He never deliberated whether or not he could handle that type of stress. It was only at this moment that he realized he couldn't cope or handle the stress. Forget scars forming; his initial wounds had barely started to knit themselves together. Being back at this place and having his love in the hands of his faceless enemies . . .