No Going Back

35

There are five dangerous faults which may affect a general: (1) Recklessness, which leads to destruction; (2) cowardice, which leads to capture; (3) a hasty temper, which can be provoked by insults; (4) a delicacy of honor which is sensitive to shame; (5) over-solicitude for his men, which exposes him to worry and trouble.
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The Art of War
Sun Tzu

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It was times like this - with the mind veiled over in a thick confusion, the body weighed down with a bone-weary exhaustion, the heart longing to stand beside its other half, and the soul refusing to believe in witnessed betrayals - that one was inclined to make bad decisions.

Poor judgments.

Stupid calls.

Sure, many believed that royally screwing up often imparted valuable life lessons. By making a mistake and living through the consequences, one learned from the experience and then made wiser choices down the road. However, that type of progression required time and the opportunity to reflect. One had to truly grasp what went wrong in the past in order to do better in the future.

Unfortunately for Jungkook, he lacked the time needed to properly reflect. There was no freedom or safety to consider how his previous stints of irrational thinking led to unfavorable outcomes. There was no break - no pause - in this nightmare to contemplate how not to fuck up from this point forward.

And due to that absence of time, freedom, and safety, Jungkook had to reach a verdict quickly. He had to decide whether to respect Taehyung's order of remaining in this bedroom or to satisfy his own desire of monitoring his angel's well-being.

Obviously, his natural inclination was to foolishly return to the tunnels. After hearing that Bogum planned on speaking with Taehyung, Jungkook's stomach coiled with uneasiness. He feared that the socialite would become violent if left unsupervised; he simply wanted to be close in case something adverse started to unfold.

In all fairness, however, Taehyung's ask of Jungkook - to stay put and prepare for the next leg of their journey - wasn't asking for much at all. Resting, eating, and sleeping were the smartest ways to pass the time until midnight, especially since neither of them could predict what was to come. They had to have clear minds and a high level of alertness so they could readily respond to any obstacle in their path.

And on top of that, Jungkook knew Taehyung could fend for himself. The elder wasn't a prideful man; if he had any doubts about his encounter with his ex, he would've asked Jungkook to hang around. But he didn't. No, Taehyung was fully capable of handling this particular matter on his own.

But that didn't mean Jungkook wasn't worried.

Fuck, he was more than worried . . . he was terrified. That always-present fear resided right in the center of his chest, constricting his breathing and putting a strain on his heart. It filled his mind with terrible images, visions he prayed would never become a reality. And in uncertain times like this, that fear made it incredibly challenging to stay back when the one person Jungkook loved more than anything was at the mercy of monsters.

Fuck.

He didn't know what to do.

In a rare display of level-headedness, Jungkook attempted to remind himself that he and Taehyung had once gone days without each other. At the start of their relationship - before their relationship could even be called a relationship - they were forced to separate amidst numerous risks and endless dangers. Four lonely days passed during that period, and in that scenario, there had been zero promise of a reunion. Nevertheless, they both endured. They made it back to each other.