Heartbroken (Lumity AU)

Here, Yet So Far Away

WARNING: The following text contains topics of suicide, selfharm, ect.
Read at your own discretion.
Chapter 1

"Luz!! Luz, please...don't leave me..." I ran up to her, grabbing onto her sleeves tightly, staring into her eyes. I could feel a waterfall of tears running down my face.

"I'm sorry, Amity," Luz says, wrapping me into a tight hug, her chin slightly digging into my neck. "Wait for me alright...I'll come back for you...I promise, just wait for me, okay?" I sniffle before responding and hugging her back.

"Okay Luz, I'll wait for you, as long as it takes, I'll be here waiting..."

Luz lets go of me, turning around and walking through the portal, the bright lights blind me, but I kept my eyes on her.

~~~

I blink, seeing that I was no longer staring at the back of Luz, but now I was in my bed, tears still filling my eyes, and a few slowly running down my cheek.

"Ugh, of course that nightmare happened again" I say, groaning slightly out of irritation, and quickly wipe away any tears that were remaining. 'I think that was the 3rd time this week, but today was gonna be different, that nightmare will no longer be affecting me' I thought, as a small spread across my face. 'Today was the day that Luz was coming back, back to me...'

I get up and look in the mirror, seeing dark bags under my eyes. I already knew I wasn't in the best mental and physical condition. The years have been rough, and at times, I didn't think I would make it. Soon after Luz left, I lost hope, lost confidence, and my days progressively were filled with more and more sorrow.

The single promise I made to Luz was the one thing that kept me going. Without the promise there, I would've broken down, I wouldn't get through, and I would've ended myself long ago.

I slightly rub my forearm, remembering all the times I wanted to cut into my skin, wanting to fill my mind up with physical pain instead of mental pain. I've gotten close, but always stopped at the last second, thinking about how Luz wouldn't want this for me. Many times I wonder what would've happened if I didn't stop myself.

I let out a sigh, letting a moment of reflection fill my mind; something I would do daily to help me keep my sanity, or at least what was left of it. I decided it was time to text Willow to see when Luz is coming.

Amity: "Hey Willow, when and where are we meeting Luz?"

Willow: "Hello, we're meeting Luz at the owl house and at 4pm. We are going to set up a little party, so you might want to get here an hour early. You don't' have to bring anything"

Amity: "Okay, cya at 3 then"

Willow: "Bye"

I shut off my scroll, and let out a sigh. 'I wonder how many people are gonna be there', I thought, hoping that it would just be the gang. Then after a second of thought I realized it would be a bit awkward either way. I had lost contact with them. One reason is because Luz was the reason they hung out, and second is a reason I rather not think about.

"Amity, come down her, won't you dear?" I flinch at the voice, the voice of my mother asking for me. I looked over at the door, I already knew well enough what would happen if I didn't respond so I did.

"Coming, Mother" I said, loud enough so she'll hear me. I quickly gave myself one more look in the mirror, seeing how messy my hair was. I had cut it short at the top, that showed my undercut, which was now fully dyed teal, under my mom's orders. I looked over at my ears, noticing that they were down, knowing my mom wouldn't like that, I forced them to stand up straight. I then quickly brushed my hair with my hand, swiping it to the side. I sigh once before leaving my room, and reaching my mother.