See In Him

25

This is to soften the blow of the last chapter. Enjoy. Also Kennith do be pan⬆️

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  "Yay! You finished it! Did you like it?"

  "A lot. Yeah," Kennith replied, handing the Star Wars novel to Lucia, gaze down at the dark blobs that were his feet. They stood out against the school's bright tiles. She had found him standing in front of his regular classroom, waiting for the teacher to arrive and the door to be unlocked so he could go and brood in the corner. Since he still had some time before that happened, the halls were quiet and almost empty. He was tired after sitting in the E.R. for half the night with Jesse and Michael, but he didn't exactly regret it.

  "I'm so happy you're finally back home. How was your trip?" Her excitement, as usual, was jarring, and Kennith certainly didn't want to stay on this subject. He only shrugged and replied, "Eh."

  "Doesn't sound that bad. You look more tired than usual. You stay up partying every night like I did?"

  "What kind of parties do you attend?" Kennith scoffed. He didn't mean to sound rude, but he didn't think Lucia was the kind to get shitfaced at a house party. She chuckled. "Nah. I had a few friends over to play some board games. I also attended a Con downtown."

  "A Con?"

  "Yeah, like a Comic-Con. I cosplayed as Princess Leia and my friend went as Han Solo. It was so much fun, even though there were half a dozen other Princess Leias there. I even got a life-sized model of R2-D2. It's super heavy, but I finally got it up my stairs to my bedroom and now he looks over my driveway. And last night, I got really scared because he randomly lit up and started beeping at, like, three AM, so I think he might be haunted, but I don't know."

  The girl had barely needed to breathe. Kennith was beginning to wonder if she would ever stop rambling, but when she did, she realized that Kennith didn't plan to reply at all. He seemed sad, she realized, and it made her sad too.

  "What's wrong, Kennith? If you were home, I would have invited you. You have to come with me next time."

  "No... I mean, yeah, that sounds great."

  Silence. It hurt his chest. Those words were right on the tip of his tongue, the ones that would allow him to release the immense guilt he felt. Hearing of how Lucia was living out her days of fun and relaxation made him immensely jealous. Kennith tried biting his cheek to keep the cry for help at bay, but it proved to be too difficult for him.

  "I had a really bad trip," he sighed defeatedly. He raised his gaze to see her mane of black tilt to the side. "What happened?" she wondered.

  "I fucked up really, really bad... and then I had to stop my best friend from killing himself..." But he then thought of what he was saying and scrambled to soften the blow. "I-I'm sorry if that triggers you. I should have asked you. I'm just... god, I fucked up so bad." The boy covered his face with shaky hands, trying to wipe away the guilt somehow. Lucia stewed in his despair for a moment, trying to think of what to say. She didn't like serious situations.

  As Kennith gave a trembling breath, Greeson arrived to open her door. As her keys jingled and crashed against the dark-red door, she greeted Kennith and Lucia with the joy that only a teacher could reproduce at eight in the morning. Instead of shrugging and nodding like usual, Kennith had to turn on his heel and walk away. Why hadn't the guilt faded overnight like he hoped it would? It was his fault that Jesse wanted to die, it was his fault that he couldn't see his horse one last time, it was his fault that Shanna and John Evans would never speak to their son again.

  "Morning, Miss Greeson," Lucia replied for both of them. But her greeting was short and Kennith could hear Lucia's footsteps following the boy quickly. He sniffed, not quite crying, but wanting to.