You've Only Just Arrived (a Tom Hiddleston fan fiction)

Part 27

Benedict spies you waiting for him through the mass of crewmembers. You haven't forgotten about his phone call, despite the melodrama concerning your own. You're all too happy to push aside your heartache to try to help a friend in need, if you can. He tries to ask you about it right after you emerge from the media room but you stonewalled him until the pair of you are swept back up into the final scene for the day.

Most of the crewmembers are busying themselves with getting out the door, back to their daily lives. There are a few lingering as you and Benedict discuss the events of the day. He mutters to you, "Mind telling me why Tom's called twenty times since we last spoke?"

You scowl at the floor. "I turned my phone off after yelling at him."

You look up to catch a pained expression on Benedict's face. "I told him..."

"You know?! He's been telling you about the project?!" Some crewmembers look over from their conversations, briefly, but look away just as quickly.

Benedict looks confused, "The production? What?"

"Wait. What are you talking about?" You take a breath, trying to dissipate the surge of anger and betrayal you'd just felt.

He shakes his head, "Nothing. Well, something, but it's not the right time."

You press your fingertips to your temples. "I've just about had it with the both of you and surprises today. Out with it."

"Ok. Ok. Right." He claps his hands together before rubbing one over his mouth. "I'll tell you on one condition. You have to explain the twenty phone calls and the yelling."

You roll your eyes in irritation and turn your hand over, "Fine."

Benedict nods, satisfied with the deal. "Before we met you... No, that's not how I want to start out." He inhales, rubbing at his ear before moving his fingers through the lightened curls atop his head, "Tom is – No, that's not right either. I have a tremendous love and respect for the both of you. That being said there's something that I've been needing to say for a while now."

He sighs and looks pretty much everywhere expect at you before finally settling those impossible eyes on you again. "Christ this is difficult. That night – that night that seems so long ago now. You, you saw him, Tom... And I – I saw you."

Oh this day is determined to make your heart hurt.

You open your mouth to start to reply and he shakes his head slightly to relay to you that he isn't finished.

Oh fuck.

"I saw you and I wish – I wish with all my being that I had been the man that you had seen first but I wasn't. I wasn't. There is no changing that. I'm not telling you this to make you uncomfortable. Promise. Like I said – I thought the timing wasn't right, but Tom prattling on about having all the cards on the table, as the saying goes..."

Your mind is reeling. Benedict just admitted to being attracted to you from the start. The pair of you have had intimate scenes together. On the one hand he had finally experienced something that he'd been denied, but wanted for himself. On the other hand, what he had experienced was a playact in front of an audience, and with the loved one of a close friend. He'd probably been in his own little hell this entire time. He hadn't been wrong earlier when he'd stated that the topic of his phone call had been complicated.

And Tom. Tom had insisted on laying everything out. Easier to give advice than take it, eh Thomas? You're furious with Tom at the moment and the list of reasons why seems to keep growing.

"______?" Benedict speaks your name hesitantly.

You wet your lips with your tongue to awaken your mouth. "Oh Ben." He can tell from your apologetic tone that he isn't going to rejoice over your response. He flinches slightly when you reach out and touch his arm which makes you sever the contact immediately. You're at a loss as to what to say.