You've Only Just Arrived (a Tom Hiddleston fan fiction)

Part 28

How long have you been on the phone with Tom now? Half an hour? More? Less? It's certainly the longest you've been on with him in weeks. The background noise on his end continues to change during the fight. "Do you hear me accusing you of anything with Ben?"

Really. That's route you're taking for your argument, Tom? You narrow your eyes, glaring off towards the kitchen of your place. "That's work and you know it."

"Lunches, drinks, weekends spent –"

So he has been keeping up with all the continued media coverage regarding the Battle of the Brits. "You pick a fine fucking time to let me know that that bothers you. There's nothing going on on my end."

"Augh! Listen to me! I'm not accusing you of anything! I'm just - I don't know - I'm jealous, alright?!"

You pace back across the room again. "Jesus Christ, Tom. There's nothing to be jealous of! If you hadn't goaded him into it he wouldn't have admitted anything to me today and I'd still be none-the-God-damned-wiser. Besides, if you weren't off God knows where with her then maybe it could have been us in those photos, and not me and Ben."

Tom's still denying any wrongdoing and you've argued so long with him that he is sputtering his thoughts out. "I can't – I don't –" He pauses to let loose a tone of disbelief, "Ah. This is ridiculous. Darling, I'm not with her!"

"I know what I saw, Tom." You grit your teeth, "And stop calling me that."

"No." He spits out his reply. After a deep breath he starts again. "Will you stop focusing on what you want to hear and listen to me?"

"Why? And if you say because I love you I swear I'm going to hang up."  You have to turn your back on the framed love notes on the wall. Even that doesn't really help. You still know they're there.

"Oh you'll hang up. What good will that do? You infuriatingly stubborn woman!"

You usually aren't one for talking with your hands but tonight you can't seem to express yourself without some sort of hand motion. "It'll keep me from being the one that is making you so miserable, for starters. Just go back to the fun you were having with her."

"For the last time – I'm NOT. WITH. HER!"

He roared that last bit. You pinch the bridge of your nose and shake your head. God you just can't listen to this anymore. You mutter his words under your breath before replying at full volume, "For the last time – you know what – Maybe, maybe that would be easier... for the time being–" Your head may be done with all of it but your heart is screaming for you to shut up. Make the words stop before you complete the sentence and regret it. Stop stop stop. "...Maybe this should be the last time we talk."

You keep your eyes closed, shutting out everything but Tom's voice. He sucks in a breath. "You're angry. Not thinking clearly. You don't mean that."

Did you mean it? Now that you've said it there's no backing down. It hurts like hell to say, even when you say it barely above a whisper. "Yes. I do."  

In his reply, each time he pauses and searches for words your heart clenches a little bit more. "Look – just – wait – when you called earlier –"

"Tom. I'm hanging up now." 

That's the second time you've hung up on the man you love. Loved? Love. You may be furious with him at the moment but you still love him. Maybe you'll calm down and call him tomorrow – or the next day – or maybe next week. It would do him good to stew on it a bit.

The silence that had been such a relief upon walking in the door to your place is now anything but comforting. Oh fuck you really are going to throw up.