12| 'Kind Of' Thoughts

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~Harry

I felt bad about skipping class again because I was definitely ruining Draco's grades but I need to think through what I saw.

It was almost like... we were together. The idea of that being the future, our future, made me feel something that I didn't understand.

It could have all been in my head. Yeah... definitely, I was probably half asleep when I saw us. The two people I saw were different than the two people we were anyways. It would be impossible for that to happen.

I made my way down to the quidditch field with my Firebolt that I knicked back from Draco... or myself. Well he was Draco. Damnit I was so confused.

I was going to have a nice relaxing evening of flying around to clear my mind.

I adjusted my robes and mounted the broom. I relished the feel of how easily my broom responded to my command.
Control.

The wind was getting pretty rough up in the sky and it was starting to make me drift over near the forest. I would need to come down soon.

"Potter! Potter!" Someone shouted.

I glanced downward and Draco/me was standing below waving his arms around like a fool.
I attempted to pretend he wasn't there but he wouldn't let up and somehow he was getting louder.

"What's wrong?" I asked when I dismounted.

"I want to talk to you," Draco's voice was hoarse from yelling.

"Alright..." I said nervously. I didn't know why my stomach was twisting and turning like it was. He only wanted to talk to me.

"So..." he said awkwardly.

"So," I repeated.

"Did you see what I saw?"

"Well what exactly did you see, Draco?"

"The thing with us," he answered.

Shit it wasn't in my head. It was in his head too.

A joint hallucination?

"I take it you saw it then," he crossed he arms.

"I did,"

Both of us were silent, waiting for the other to have some kind of response to pull us out of this miserable pit of awkwardness. But instead, Draco decided to throw us farther down the pit.

"What did you think about it?"

"Am I supposed to think anything about it?" I could feel my face heating up.

"I mean.. kind of?" He shrugged.

"Do you have "kind of" thoughts about it then?"

"Kind of,"

I don't know why but that made me burst out laughing. It was so damn uncomfortable that laughing seemed to be the only appropriate thing to do. Draco/me had his eyes narrowed at me while I was gasping for air.

"Shit... that was funny," I wheezed.

"Uh huh," Draco rolled his eyes.

"Come on you didn't think that was funny?"

"Not really because I want to have a conversation with you and you keep trying to avoid me!" He shouted.

That wiped the smile right off my face.

"We can... we can talk then," I sighed.

Draco nodded and sat down carefully on the grass, motioning me to do the same.

"Do you think that was the past or the future?" He prompted.

"I dunno... if it was the past I'm pretty sure I would remember that," I replied.

"But like I said about trauma-,"

"-did that seem traumatic to you?"

"Not exactly," Draco admitted.

"If it's the future..."

"Potter, are you gay?"

"I thought we decided to call each other by our real names!" I protested.

"Okay, Harry are you gay?" He snapped.

"I don't understand-,"

"It's either yes, or no!" He raised his voice.

"I don't know!" I matched his volume level.

"Yes you do!"

"How can you tell if you are or not?!"

"Do you like dick, yes or no?!"

"I don't know, I don't know, I don't know," I rocked back and forth.

"Hmm do you like me?"

"Draco are you gay?" I turned the question on him.

Draco sat back and put his head in his hands.
"I think I've always liked guys," he whispered.

I was stunned. No words came to mind.

"I can't even imagine liking a girl, it's physically impossible, Harry, nobody knows, I don't even tell myself," he said.

"Draco... it's okay," I put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's not okay, my family will disown me," he sobbed.

"No offense but if they do that, then fuck them," I suddenly felt protective over Draco.
He laughed weakly and wiped his eyes. The tears kept coming though.

Without thinking, I used my thumb to brush them aside.

I kind of followed the lines of the book "Autoboyaugraphy" -which by the way is a beautiful book AND YOU SHOULD READ IT BC IT MADE ME CRY SEVERAL TIMES, VERY GAY-
anyways, some drarry content should be on the horizon very very soon, so buckle up 🥳😈

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