𝑺 𝑾 𝑨 𝑵 𝑸 𝑼 𝑬 𝑬 𝑵

~1~

The pain in her heart just wouldn't go away.

Regina marched herself down Storybrooke's main street at a clipped pace, her arms wrapped protectively around her waist in a vain attempt to hold herself together. She'd thought that it wouldn't be possible for her heart to break any more than it had in the past; she had already suffered so much. But she was wrong.

Her heart sagged under the weight of her crushed expectations and she was briefly tempted to rip it from her own chest, if only to rid herself of its needy bulk and make this whole ordeal a little more bearable.

Regina had done exactly what Henry had asked her to do: she'd believed in him. She had put aside her own personal grievances and concerns for her own wellbeing and martyred herself to a rather painful cause. But even when she had finally done the right thing, the noble thing... the good thing... she was still treated exactly the same. Pushed aside when her unique skill-set was no longer required.

Seeing Emma climb out of the portal had sent a confusing myriad of emotions flying through her; if she was being honest with herself she had actually missed the infuriating sheriff during her unplanned stint in the Enchanted Forest and Regina found that she had genuinely meant it when she told the blonde 'welcome back'. That did not however erase the sharp pinch her heart had endured at the sight of Emma clutching her son in a smothering embrace. Henry should have been thanking his real mother for ingesting a curse on his behalf.

Regina sniffed lightly in the cooling evening air. Her nose was starting to run.

Emma hadn't blamed her for ruining her life, hadn't accused her of being bad for Henry, hadn't said a single antagonizing thing to her since she got back. In fact, the blonde had thanked her as soon as she'd stopped cradling Henry's head to her chest and made a light remark about her mother being a bitch. It had made Regina's heart smile a little at the time.

It's what Emma hadn't said that set her teeth on edge.

Regina didn't expect to be redeemed in a day, but she did expect to be rewarded for progress, and saving their collective asses from a death curse suspended over a portal was one hell of a step in the right direction.

The spit caught in her throat as she tried to swallow down the angry bile that kept creeping up from her esophagus and her fists clenched until her fingernails were leaving white indentations in her palms.

Forming the words 'why don't you join us for dinner, Regina?' should not have been hard. Even a simple 'you coming?' would have sufficed. Hell, she'd have even settled for a head tilt aimed in her direction.

As it was, Gold's painfully truthful words echoed harshly in her ears as her high heels continued to clack against the sidewalk. "Congratulations. You just reunited mother and son. Maybe one day they'll even invite you to dinner." After all she'd done for him; she couldn't help but feel Henry's betrayal stinging sharply deep within her chest.

She had abstained from magic at his request. She had kept a constant vigil by his side while fiery nightmares swept him away at night. She had spent every waking moment he allowed her to be near him in his presence. And when she wasn't with him, she was coming up with ways to prove her worth to him. She had even saved his birth mother when he had begged her to.

She'd hoped that this would be enough. That he would see how hard she was trying. But it's difficult to be good when everyone was just waiting for you to slip up, biding their time and looking for cracks in your façade, waiting on baited breath and daring you to flinch so the blame can land squarely on your shoulders once again.

Hope was a dangerous thing. It was something Regina feared she had always had too much of. It made it all the more painful to lose.

She had hoped for Emma.