Illicit ✔

eighteen

♫ I don't wanna be needing your love
I just wanna be deep in your love
And it's killing me when you're away ♪
(Maroon 5—Sugar)

The Ryan-effect became a familiar term for Coralie in the following weeks after he returned to London. She defined it as the delirious daze his absence caused, and the aftermath of the mess they'd made in her bedroom, in her bathroom, in her heart. She felt it as chaos unleashing in her gut whenever she peered at the condom wrappers in her trash can. Or when she sniffed at the pillow he'd rested his wet curls on, or the coffee mug he'd sipped from while eyeing her with lust.

She grappled to break from the trance he'd left her in, and spent most of the morning clutching the sheets to her chest, letting the soft fabric caress her skin. But it didn't feel as good as his fingertips gliding up and down her waist.

Later that day, Delilah poured them some mimosas and sat cross-legged on the carpet, listening to Coralie recount in vivid detail every aspect of her adventure with Ryan.

"Fuck," said Delilah, downing half her drink and fanning herself as her tanned cheeks flushed. "So it was everything you imagined, huh?"

Coralie huffed as she fell into the couch cushions. "More. I've had my share of good sex, you know that, but since Jayden... I wasn't sure I'd ever want it again. But Ryan..."

Delilah swirled the alcoholic juice, her neon purple nails clacking against the glass. "He woke you up, one hundred percent."

"One hundred percent." Coralie shoved a pillow over her mouth and screamed into it. "So what the fuck am I supposed to do now?"

"Hey—you did this to yourself." Delilah stretched out her lean legs and finished her beverage, smacking her lips in delight. "You were so ready to chuck him out of your life and tell him to fuck off, but one glance at his bulge—"

"—dude!" Coralie threw the pillow at her, but she caught it. "Come on, it took more than that, I told you."

"Yeah, it took him flying across the world to be with you." Delilah's dark eyes turned serious as she set the cup on the coffee table. "And look, I'm not cool with him cheating on his wife, but... that's a big deal. Guys don't usually buy a plane ticket and fly to another country for a quickie, or a random hit-it-and-quit-it. So hate him as I might... I admit I respect him for making that kind of effort and being an exquisite lover—"

Coralie tossed another cushion at her.

Ryan messaged her while she was at work that evening, to announce that he'd landed. She rarely checked her phone while bartending, but The Swirled Lady was mostly empty that night, and Roger had left for a family emergency.

So when her phone pinged, she fetched it from the back room and unlocked the screen at once.

Ryan Bennett: I made it home, beautiful. I can't stop thinking about you. You were a delicious treat, and I can't wait to eat you up again.