The Boy I Married [hold]

16| Moral Support

one week later

"So what should we do today, babe? I feel like we've exhausted  just about everything under the sun. Jet skiing, snorkeling, hiking, hang gliding, zip lining. I mean you can't really get more adventurous than that," Justin says, plopping down on the bed with a bowl of green grapes in his hand. I took a few without permission and her snarled at me.

Little did he know, I could barely take in a single deep breath without the urge to projectile vomit everywhere but I didn't want to be the one to ruin our vacation, so I choked it down to a mild stomach bug from something I may've ate that went bad or just didn't agree with my stomach. Our vacation was only a few days longer and I couldn't have asked for anything better than the time we had spent together. It gave us a chance to really talk about what the future looked like in our marriage. I hated myself for not being able to come clean about my infidelities and every day that passed by only made me feel even more guilty of not fessing up. 

After the masquerade ball ended-sadly Justin and I didn't win the crown for king and queen- we were runner up-he and I made plans to go back to Canada and stay there for a while just to be around family a little while longer before heading back to L.A. Don't get me wrong, L.A. was amazing and being there had its perks and benefits, but nothing beat being in Canada with my parents. It was home.

"I don't know, Justin. I wanna say we should just hang out in bed but I don't want to put a damper on our adventures. Something just feels off with me. I can't put my finger on it, but the way I feel right now, the bed is the only place I want to be."

He smiles and pushes his body closer to me, securing me in his arms before he motioned me to rest my head on his chest. I loved this man with my entire heart. 

"The bed it is. We can binge watch anything you want. I may even be down to give you a body massage or a feet rub just to get you feeling a little bit better. I don't mind baby. Vacation isn't all about the activities we do for fun. It's also about the intimacy in the little things. Remembering that you hate the sound of me rubbing my feet together when I get in bed. Letting you hog the blanket and then complain that I'm taking it all. The little things that make me love you are just as important as the things we do," he ended, planting a soft kiss on my forehead. 

For a while, we watched reruns of The Office until somehow Justin convinced me into playing video games with him for hours. Needless to say that even though I knew it already, he was the sorest loser I had ever come across. Despite spending the day lounging, the feeling in my body never subsided and the urge to vomit quickly turned into me actually vomiting. Before I could feel it coming on, I warned Justin who rushed me to the bathroom before stepping out and letting me hack up whatever needed to come out and that's when it all clicked. One emotion filled night with a man that happened to not be my husband was reeking its consequences on me.If I had ever felt shame before, now was it. If I had become pregnant by another man, I don't know what I would do.

Justin waited by the door until all was as well as it was going to be and carried me back to the bed, tucking me in tightly.

"Man. That sounded brutal."

"Tell me about it. I'm gonna go sit in the bathroom for a minute. I feel like more is on the way. I have no idea what I ate that could've upset my stomach this much."

He nodded his head and handed me his bottle of water on the night stand. "Do you want me to come in there with you, Moral support I guess?"

"No. I don't want you to see me puking up all of my insides, babe. That would be quite disturbing."

Justin laughs and nods his head before focusing his attention to the tv and back to the game we had both been playing. 

While he hadn't been paying attention, I grabbed my toiletry bag and walked back to the bathroom. In the midst of trying to get pregnant, I always had pregnancy tests on me. Call it desperation or whatever, but it came In handy right now and that was the only thing that mattered. I'd taken so many test before that it was almost like muscle memory on how the entire process worked. The only thing that was different was the vomiting. My doctor told me that often times women can have pregnancy symptoms and signs and not be pregnant and for some reason, I prayed that that was what the issue was right now.