stupid creepypasta fanfic

chapter 1

Lj was committing breathing but no looking. He was peaceful for three seconds until his stoopid sister scared the shiza out of him.
"Boo!" Jill yelled (be scared).
Lj's eyes flickered open.
"Föck" he replied in his British ass accident (accent).
"It's Ej's borthday ya fag." Jill chuckled, tugging at Lj's hair.
Lj forgot because he's English. (They drink too much tea)
"K" he replied.
Jill left. Eventually Lj got out of bed and put on his Shrexy Shrek outfit since Shrek is cool. He left his room and started Christopher WALKIN down the stairs (if you don't get that joke you're sad), until he tripped but decided to just fall because he regretted his existence. He reached the bottom of the stairs, cried for a few seconds, and then got up. Everyone was wearing their normal, boring outfits. Lj looked the best obviously 🙄.
So anyways, he grabbed a handful of candy on a table and inhailed them but didn't choke because he is the best. Then he saw Ej. He had secretly been crushing on Ej for 696969 years. He didn't tell anyone because that would be embarrassing. He blushed. Ej was wearing his Dr Phil cosplay outfit. He looked cute. He wished he could go up and talk but he was to shy~👉👈💖.
Jeff then appeared behind him.
"My names Jeff," he said. Lj scadooshed him for the 420th time because Jeff was an idiot. Jeff also was not single which made Lj jealous that someone as stupid as him could even have a chance.
Jeff walked away over to his partner, Ben. They vibed while dancing to the music playing which was Never gonna give you up (best song). Eventually everyone started to vibe to the bop of a song except Lj and Ej. Slender man was twerking in a corner, Sally was dancing on one of the tables, Toby was flirting with Masky who was tryna talk to his BFF, Hoodie, Ben and Jeff at this point started to make out, Jane was judging people, Nina was moonwalking with Zero, Clockwork was chilling with Bloody Painter, Lost silver was a cripple like Joe from family guy so he just sat there crying, Jason the Toymaker was dancing to the song with Lazari and Lulu, Liu was feeling bad for himself again, Zalgo was trying to eat his Krispy Kreme, Jill was eating candy, Skin taker was trying to take The rakes skin even though he has grandma skin, smile dog was smoking weed like snoop dawg, Grinny the cat was staring at Smile and Sexual offenderman was hiding behind a couch waiting for his moment to....ya know.
Lj stood there. Maybe this was his chance to talk to Ej. He walked over to him. Ej didn't really look in the mood to torque (talk). Lj looked over at him. He was so nervous. Ej was the cutest dude in the mansion.
"Hey bro," Lj finally spoke.
Ej looked at him out of the corner of his eye.
"Wot fam?" Ej asked.
Lj looked upset that Ej didn't seem to be in the mood but he was still gonna try.
"Enjoying the party so far?" Lj said, jokingly.
Ej chuckled.
"I've never seen so many killers go insane over Rick Astley.
"Well, he is Daddy," Lj replied, regretting what he said.
Ej looked at him and laughed.
"I prefer Putin." He giggled.
Lj smiled. Maybe they could communicate via memes.
Laughing Jack was enjoying this a lot. Ej was a cool dude.

After the party everything was back to normal. Nearly everyone was asleep, except for Zero, Lj, Jeff, Jason and Jill. The gang were chilling on the couch. Jeff was the most drunk out of everyone.
"Aw man my head..." Jeff moaned.
The five where pretty bored. They weren't really in the mood for sleeping.
"Who wants to *burp* talk about stuff?" Zero mumbled.
"Let's talk about our *burp* sexualities," Jill mentioned.
Everyone looked at her but where too drunk to not wanna do what she said. Jason stood up.
"I...am BI-FREAKING-SEXUAL!" he screamed.
Everyone cheered.
"I always thought that Clockwork was cute but..then also thought that Bloody Painter was pretty thicc," he continued.
Jill stood up.
"ASEXUAL!" she yelled. "I have never felt *hiccup* love for no bitch!"
Everyone clapped.
Zero dizzily got up.
"Hehe pansexual," Zero murmured. "Nina was always pretty cute,"
Everyone hip-hoorayed.
Jeff remained on the couch.
"GAY!" He screamed.
Everyone laughed and then turned to Lj.
Lj sat there awkwardly.
"Well?" Jill asked.
Lj remained quiet.
"I...I don't know..." Lj replied smiling.
Everyone yelled at him to tell them.
"Ok ok ok," Lj chuckled. "I'm gay,"
Everyone was surprised but cheered anyways.
"Do you like any guys Lj?" Jill asked, curiously.
Everyone asked this question a few more times.
"Everyone here told their kinda crushes," Jeff excitedly spoke.
Lj thought about it and then decided to speak.
"...Ej,"