Arnav Singh Raizada was once an innocent boy, prankster, and mum's boy. His lifestyle was a true definition of a fairy-tale. SHEESH MAHAL's prince. As he continued in his fairy-tale world, reality gave him an excruciating and tedious call. Suddenly...
" It's sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew." - Henry Rollins
My ears are always ready to hear from you, even if it's your so-called silly words.
4th/may
Dear Ma
First day living without you...
If a week ago I had a hint of what was going to happen, I could have tried my best to prevent it from happening.
Oh, how I wish this was a nightmare.
I wish I had paid more attention - during Di's wedding celebration - on how your smile slowly faded away from your graceful face.
I remember asking you what had happened, you looked at me and said, "Chote, my only daughter, is leaving today." I'm sorry for not seeing through your lies. I wish I stayed close to you, then maybe...just maybe...you would have still been alive.
Ma, a lot has changed, since you left. Di's marriage was canceled immediately after the news of your death, and the things surrounding it. 'Da-', Ahuk Malik took his life, leaving us orphans. Di cried so much that the doctor had to visit us multiple times. The pain was and still is unbearable.
Oh, Ma...
As Di and I tried to come to terms with the brutal reality, 'unc-' Priyesh Malik, kicked us out of our home. We were left outside, abandoned, and cold.
Dadi was nowhere to be seen.
Nani, out of her generosity, took us to live with her in New Dehli.
Ma, I still find it hard to imagine a world without you.
I hope as I grow older, I will learn to live in a world without you.
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"Chote, Chote, Chote, Chote, wake up. Wake up, Chote. You will be late for school."
Ohhh. Why now? I literally just slept.
"Ma, let me sleep!" I groan.
"No!"
"Please, five minutes more!"
"ARNAV, WAKE UP!"
Wait a minute, Ma never shouts. I immediately open my eyes, and I'm faced with an angry Nani(maternal grandmother). Getting up quickly, I rush to the closest to get my uniform.
Luckily I bathed last night.
Throwing the uniform - a short-sleeve purple shirt, a khaki grey tie, a pair of khaki grey shorts, and long grey socks - on the bed, I quickly remove my pajama top, and put on the shirt. Finishing tying the buttons, I shake my school shorts looking for the tie. Not finding it, I head back to the closet. The tie is missing.
Where did I put it?
I'm about to lose my mind.
Okay, Arnav, come down!
Deciding to look for the tie later, I grab the shorts.
Just when I'm about to remove my pajama pants, I realise that Nani is still in the room. She is standing next to the door; both of her hands holding her sari tightly. her eyes also have tears, but I don't bother asking why.
Reason? Fear.
She notices my stare and immediately she plasters a smile:" your tie, is there on the chair." She Points at the chair with her eyes. "Chote you are 14 years-old, you need to be more organised," she says and walks out.
I'm scared Nani might be indirectly blaming me for Ma's death. I'm also scared I will break down and everyone will see how vulnerable I really am.
Hiding my inner turmoil is something Ahuk taught me. He once said, "Arnav, always let the demons eat you in silence, it never does any man any good to publically cry for help." He told me this after I badly injured my knee.
I had forgotten all about what he had said until Ma's last rites were performed. People's fake sympathy and their pitiful looks had forced me to remember Ahuk's words. And proudly I've used his words as a quote for my new chapter in Dehli.
This is helping me survive.
Yes, I still despise him!
Although I entered New Dehli with a determined mind, life hasn't been easy. Trying to adjust in a different environment, with different people, hasn't been my cup of tea. However, I can't complain, if anything I'm thankful. After that dreadful day, Nani silently took Di (sister)and me in, and changed our surname from Malik to Raizada. What Nani didn't realize when she legally changed our surname was she unknowingly enacting the decision that I had made and we killed Arnav Malik together.
![[Gandhi Nagar,New dehli,India][Raizada's residence]](https://img.wattpad.com/f80bb1a777ddda184feddd6a3e7edba3dae98025/68747470733a2f2f73332e616d617a6f6e6177732e636f6d2f776174747061642d6d656469612d736572766963652f53746f7279496d6167652f716e306d74696a6c4e646b2d76413d3d2d3936363338393638362e313634393764333364313266323334343633333532383233333736392e6a7067?s=fit&w=720&h=720)
