Silence ||poetry ||

Forgiving

From old abuse, of long gone wrong doings; I am
prickling,
Torturing myself in silence, I keep contemplating,
Won't you just come down and judge?
Or I will be judging

Forgiving;

I haven't reached today I am there in the past,
that same place they put the knife in my heart;
Holding grudge has its fist on me dragging me down to
reliving trauma

I want to forget but its like stopping myself from scratching  itchy back.
the more I try, it getting very hard.

Forgiving;

Oh, My wound is burning. Its fresher every time.
I am shivering in the morning, finding my heart very cold
And at night, I am drowning in tears, the pain suffocating 
my throat.

Forgiving.

But I pray thy lord, forgive my thousand debt,
though I couldn't leave fifty of
My friend.
For it cant stop my tears from flowing.
I bet it couldn't heal my  pain.

What was it, yah
Forgiving.

From whom who has been hurt the biggest by whom he trust but from him who has wronged none;
What shall we learn?

What was it? Yah..
Forgiving.

With empty hug and deceiving kiss, when his friend give him for sale;
When they put him on the cross, and spitted on his face;

while they are piercing his side with blade
While the ground is drenching from his bled;

He cried out saying, "God forgive them; they don't know what they are doing."
Is this hurt person cry, is this the shouting of greatest pain?

Oh, Forgiving.
What is forgiving?

Why wait until our wounds heal, forgiving is while we are
burning.
Why wait until they apologize

Forgiving is while we are still
hurting
Why put it off for tomorrow, forgiving is while they are still pushing the knife while our heart bleeding.
It not one time deal though, its done over and over as long as we are  breathing.

Forgiving
What is forgiving?

wishing them luck while we can gravely repay with revenging. 
Whilst we are not taking, we just do it, for - giving.

Oh no!
if only we could know,
If we really realise it, hatred is another way of holding on.
forgiving is the biggest favor we  do for our soul.
It lights our home.
The past then will lose the power  to overshadow,
Then, little by little; we will let go.

Oh,....woah!

Forgiving!

What is forgiving?

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Dedicated to: zinabmishit (elder sis) ; this treasured  chapter is dedicated to you my beloved sister.