Sky's The Limit

xiii

thirteen | crystal

We had a fight.

Usually, we'd scream and shove. We'd get in each other's faces, and rough each other up a bit.

It'd never go past that. We had our limit, and we knew exactly where it was.

We learned our lesson from the last time, and vowed never to take it that far ever again.

Our vows were broken last night— by both of us.

As a result, I woke up sore with a swollen eye and a few bruises. I had no idea what Maceo looked like, since he left right after our scuffle, but I imagined that I didn't do nearly as much damage as I could've.

Besides, his bruises usually camouflaged with his dark hue, and any scratches only added to his thuggish image.

My battle scars left me ugly while his only made him look more like a man. It was ironic given the fact that he wasn't one.

Crazy how images can be completely different from the gritty, gory details of reality.

I struggled to get up, my abdomen aching as I sat up from my bed. I was still wearing the dress I was supposed to perform in although my hair was never done in the way I planned to have it.

A wave of pain surged through me, memories of our last bad fight flooding my system.

All while drawing a bath and adding epsom salt, I couldn't help but replay the events from two years ago in my mind.

I couldn't even remember the cause of the fight— not like it matters anyway because I guarantee it was over something stupid.

It was always over the stupidest shit, even back then.

I pushed him too far, that time. We were going on and on about something that probably wasn't that serious, and then I shoved him.

He shoved me back and warned me not to touch him again. Of course, I challenged him, and soon enough we were coming to blows.

It wasn't our proudest moment. If anything, it was our ugliest.

The aftermath was even worse.

There was so much blood shed. I was scared, and he was too, and our fears meshed in such a way that they looked like the grim reaper himself.

We lost the baby.

I was almost halfway into my second trimester, my belly just beginning to show when it happened.

It was a hard loss. I don't think either of us have even fully healed; yet, here we were, doing the same shit.

Sometimes, I thought about leaving Maceo. Never any serious contemplation, but enough to just almost work up the courage to do so.

I don't know what I was scared of.

I know Maceo has dangerous connections. I know he's considered dangerous himself, but never have I been scared of him.

Maybe I was scared of being alone, scared of the fact that nobody would want me— scared that Maceo is as good as it gets for me.

When Mace and I first started dating, 'Shaany swore up and down that I could do better.

I just thought he was jealous because he wasn't the only guy I was spending time with anymore— jealous because I went from skipping school and hanging out with him all the time to blowing him off to ride around with Maceo.