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i smiled awkwardly at the man in front of me, the obvious disapproval on his face said enough. bad timing i guess? "hey." i choked out. why was i feeling guilty? there was nothing to feel guilty about.

thankfully, the smile returned to his bare face. he entered my oddly freezing apartment, closing the door before facing me. "happy halloween?" he chuckled nervously, handing me an orange envelope.

i cocked my eyebrows slightly as i opened the packaging, revealing a white card with black outlines or different shapes. i opened it to see it was an invitation..to a party. "a party?" i asked, concern laced in my voice. i don't know what vibes i gave him, but i would think it was safe to assume i'm not a social person.

"yeah! wait, there's more." chris smirked. he walked back to my door and opened it once again. except for this time, when he stepped to the side of the doorframe, i couldn't believe what i was seeing.

"HEY BITCH!"

a short figure ran towards me, arms and legs wrapping around my torso so tight that i had to lean against my countertop. i couldn't even process what was happening, all i knew is i was overwhelmingly happy. "i cant believe this." i whispered to myself, squeezing her a little tighter. "holy fuck."

after a few moments she pulled away. it was impossible for me to take the smile off of my face. "no fucking way beck. h-why are you here?" i asked, baffled. chris stood there happily, watching our hands interlock.

"chris told me how you missed me or whatever." she chuckled, punching my arm lightly. "and it's halloween, we never miss on halloween. so you will be coming back with me on monday for a few days to visit." beck smiled.

my eyes widened in excitement. i love halloween, especially when i get to spend it with her. when the words registered in my mind, an idea came with it. i turned away from her to look at chris. "you guys have to come with us." i stated rather bluntly. "please. it would be- you have to." i turned back to face my best friend. "right?"

"hell yeah! that would be dope as shit. you have to come." she agreed.

he contemplated for a few minutes. he expressed his emotions on his face like a painted portrait. eyebrows furrowing, he nodded his head. "they're gonna kill me but- i think we can make it work."

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now, it was 8:30 pm and beck and i were driving around the streets of seoul. roaming around the dark city as cool air flowed in through my windows. i cant stop me by twice was blasting while we talked about our favorite kpop comebacks this year.

beck diverted from the conversation, though. "tell me about chris." she stated. "why aren't you dating him dumbass? you should see the way he looks at you."

i chuckled lightly, rolling my eyes. "we've been over this dumbass." i spoke mockingly. "it's just not the right time."

"yeah, okay." beck scoffed. "ahn jaehyun you can not fool me, ever. i know you." she continued, turning down the music that was playing over my speakers.

her insight wasn't completely incorrect. there was something more, and she knew it..she always did. "i'm scared dude." i inhaled, "relationships, love, being with someone other than myself- fucking terrifying." my emotions spilled out in front of me.

she smiled victoriously, "i knew it. jae, i know you're scared..you always have been. i can't tell you how to fix yourself, i can't tell you how to feel better. all i can tell you is that give him a chance, i know he will prove you wrong."

i sat in silence, soaking up her words. "maybe you're right." i huffed. "i gotta tell him, and soon."

"damn right you do."
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