Banking On My Bodyguard

chapter 26

I knocked on Naila's door that evening, relieved I'd get to be reunited with my best friend after a long month apart.

I needed her witty comments and keen wisdom now more than ever.

The door swung open to reveal her familiar figure and a flicker of a smile crossed her face before she fully took me in. As her eyes dragged over my gaunt face, her expression slipped away to be replaced by a frown and I knew that she could tell something had gone terribly wrong.

She had always been great at that, knowing the truth behind your facade. She could read me like a book, she knew how I felt even before I did.

For a moment I almost wanted to laugh at the irony of it all. How she could look perfectly the same when I felt like a ghost of myself. I was thankful at least that she'd had a good break, someone deserved to.

"Vee, you look awful. What's happened?"

Something about her caring tone made my weak facade crack and I fell against her as sobs wracked my body. I could feel her tense in panic but she quickly wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into the room and shutting the door.

She guided me over to the bed without a word and sat me down, grabbing a tissue box from her desk and coming to join me. She pulled me in for a hug again and I just cried into her shoulder, as every emotion I'd been holding inside for a week came flooding out.

It was like a dam had been opened, it was all too much to disguise; the heated fight with Kingsley, the week of loneliness without anyone to confide in, the cold car ride that sealed my fate as his enemy.

Eventually, I managed to stop my emotional outburst, sucking in large breaths and trying to regain some sanity. I sat up straight and she stared at me in concern. I knew my eyes were probably puffy and it must've been a ghastly image to contrast against the dark rings around my eyes.

She reached her hand up and stroked a piece of hair out of my face, trying to soothe me like a mother would.

"Vee what happened?"

I looked down at my hands, embarrassed that I was going to have to admit what a fool I'd been. Somehow it felt safer for no one to know, perhaps it lessened the terrible reality of it all of no one shared my anguish.

"It's Kingsley, I- I really messed things up."

Her eyebrows raised in surprise but she dropped the expression quickly.

"What did you do?"

I took a tissue from the box in her hand and blew my nose loudly before speaking.

"Well everything had been going good but then New Years came around..." I paused and took another tissue.

"It was my dad's business party, Kingsley and his family were invited since his uncle is close with my dad or whatever. And at midnight, Kingsley pulled me into a private room and we... and we..."

Tears were beginning to fall again now, running in thick streams down my face. She handed me another tissue and squeezed my hand encouragingly.

"We kissed each other."

She paused and a puzzled expression came over her face, "wait... isn't that a good thing?"

I shook my head, wishing she could read my mind without me having to explain it but her confused face pushed me to continue.

"The kiss was great but I was so stupid, I- I reacted badly and pushed him away. It was all so confusing, I was taken by surprise and I didn't realise I liked him and I panicked... so I ruined it on purpose."

She sat still for a moment, considering the story. I tried to not fidget as I waited for her reply, hoping it was something that could ease some of my guilt even if I didn't deserve it.

"Listen I'm sure this is fixable, he obviously likes you and you like him right?" Her tone was slightly hopeful and I found myself disappointed that I couldn't share in it.

"No you don't understand... we had a massive argument and he assumed I was rejecting him because I like Eli... and I just decided to go along with it. So he said he didn't want to be friends anymore and now we haven't spoken since."

She grimaced at the additional explanation and it was obvious that even to an outsider the situation was bad. I sighed and took another tissue, trying to wipe the tear stains from my cheeks.

She took my hand in hers and it was enough to tell me the truth of my situation, "Vee... I'm sorry..."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. In fact you were right all along, I should have listened to you about him. Maybe I would have realised that I liked him sooner and then I wouldn't have reacted like that."

"I mean you panicked, was it the right way to deal with it? No... but it's not your fault that you didn't know how you felt. Love is blind and all that right?"

"I don't think that's exactly what that means but I suppose so..." I was trying to reassure her, I didn't want her feeling guilty that I didn't feel any better after her help.

We were silent for a moment and I could practically hear the cogs turning in her brain, trying to think of a solution. She'd never been the type to give up, but I could guarantee that any situation she would play out in her mind had already cycled through my own.

"I miss him so much." I whispered and she looked at me, sympathy clear in her eyes.

She pulled me in for a hug again and rubbed my back, trying to soothe my pain.

"I know, I know. It's going to be okay, I promise." She tried to convince me again, holding onto her last slice of hope, but I just nodded against her hair, still not entirely sure.