nothing i wont do anymore

a death in the family.

{ t.w mentions of death and miscarriage. please be safe x}

Malfoy Manor, November, 1979

It was almost the end of both a very difficult and very successful year for the Malfoy's. Difficult in the sense that Lucius had been required (honoured, he insisted) to increase his role, and therefore his authority in the group of The Dark Lords flowers. He was incredibly proud of this accomplishment, however Narcissa despised how it kept him away from her so much.

She had a difficult year herself, losing a child in the summer which was the most difficult miscarage she had had to date. Lucius, as always did his best to lift her spirits, but she was beginning to think that she would never have a family with him.

That was until late November. She hadn't been feeling well. The weather. She had told herself, that was all it was. But the feelings didn't fade and she often found herself bent over in the bathroom being ill in the evenings. She was not going to bother Lucius with such things as he was busy with his meetings. It wasn't until she had tea with an old school friend, Regan, and had practically gagged at the thought of an egg sandwich that the concept of pregnancy was even thought of.

"You could be." she said in a hushed tone, not wanting to be insensitive after Narcissa's past difficulties. "It wouldn't hurt to check."

"I've never been ill like this before." Narcissa argued, not wanting to allow herself the hope that it could be a possibility.

"Well this might be a good sign." Regan said encouragingly. "I was terribly ill when I was pregnant- you remember, I was ill all over your rug."

Narcissa chuckled at the memory. "I was sure Lucius was going to be sick right after you." she said and Regan laughed too.

So Narcissa decided that checking wouldn't hurt. And lo and behold, she found herself to once again be with child. And then the worry set it. She wasn't sure if she could face the thought of losing another baby. Would she be able to cope this time? She wanted to speak to Lucius, but was saving the special announcement for Christmas Eve. She just had a feeling about this one, that this baby was their lucky one.

So she turned to the only other family member she trusted- her cousin Regulus. Like her husband and sister, he too was caught up in the Dark Lord's order. She had invited him over for tea during the day while her husband was at work. She was pleasantly surprised that he brought Kreacher along with him. She was always fond of the Black Family house elf and she was sure Dobby could do with the assistance in the kitchen. She had sat Regulus down in the drawing room and leaned in close.

"I am with child Reg!" she breathed excitedly.

Regulus' smile was more like a grimace. This was not the first time they had had this conversation. And every other time it had ended in tears.

"That's wonderful Narcissa." he congratulated. "I am so happy for you cousin. It truly is the least you deserve."

Narcissa waved him off and smiled into her teacup. "Enough with that." she said happily. "I know things have not been... successful in the past- but I know this time Reg, I can feel it. This time Lucius and I are going to have a baby, if it's the last thing I do."

He nodded. Regulus didn't doubt his cousin. As long as he could remember Narcissa had been talking about babies and a family. When they were children he often looked at the abundance of dolls around her bedroom. When she was old enough, she talked of Lucius Malfoy and how she wished to marry him and have ten blonde babies to run around the manor. It was sad really, she did not deserve her misfortune. Narcissa would make a very good mother, he thought.