𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗪𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗕𝗲 𝗔𝗹𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 🤍

•𝗘𝗽𝗶𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗲•

•☘️•

Nikki's POV, January 2020

2020. Man, I feel old.

Well, I am but that's beside the point. The last 40 years have been a rollercoaster for sure, the ups and downs of the decades, every decade having a new challenge.

The 80's were the years where I fell deeply in love with a crazy, tall, lanky drummer who got me pregnant for the first time leading to me having to publicly admit my deepest secret. Then I gave birth to Tommy and I's beautiful daughter, I got myself hooked on heroin, let it control me and caused me to hit rock bottom, almost losing Tommy, River and my life in the process- got clean then almost ruined it all again but managed to claw it back and release a number one album.

Then the '90's happened, and as I promised Tommy as we neared the end of the 'Dr Feelgood' tour in 1990 we began to try for a second baby and within weeks I fell pregnant yet again.

July 20th, 1990

Mötley Crüe were on tour, we had just under two weeks to go now but because of this Tommy a few weeks ago had insisted to me that we should start being less careful when we have sex in hopes- like I promised- that we conceive a second child.

And here am I today after the last couple of mornings throwing up everything in my body sitting on the edge of the bath tub in Tommy and I's hotel room having just taken a pregnancy test.

Tommy was currently doing his hair and chatting with Vince who was taking River for the evening because Tommy wanted to take me out tonight. Tommy's grooming always took a while, so he's probably still doing it, well, he was doing that when I excused myself to the bathroom. He'd been working on his hair for 30 minutes already- he's worse than me, I swear.

And no, I hadn't told Tommy of my pregnancy symptoms and I'd managed to throw up without gaining any attention, so he was completely in the dark. I do feel kinda guilty but I didn't want to tell him and get his hopes up about it.

My heart was beating hard as I waited the few minutes for the results to show up. I'm excited and not filled with dread like the last time, the only thing which scared me was what the aftermath of the pregnancy- if I was pregnant of course- held for me.

The three minutes ticked by slowly it felt like I'd been there for years but eventually I felt like enough time had passed, I ran a hand through my hair and took a deep breath bouncing my leg up and down in anticipation as I reached over from where I was sat to the side of the sink swiping the test into my hand.

Carefully, I moved the test in my grip so I was holding the bottom of it, I held tightly facing away from me having to buck up the courage to flip it over, as I held it in my hand I felt like having a panic attack and the longer I prolonged it the more likely that is.

So, with one last calming breath I flipped the stick over in my hand to be smacked in the face by two pink lines.

My breathe hitched in the back of my throat, as much as I expected it, I still couldn't prepare myself for that result.

I was pregnant.

My lips turned upwards and I instinctively placed a hand over my abdomen.