𝓣𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙠𝙮 𝙞 𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙬 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙤𝙣✨ | A Jikook x Y/N ff [sad ending]

Chapter 2

8:00 am...

i woke up to a bright sun shining on my face

'ugh so annoying'

i got up, and went to the washroom. i looked at myself through the mirror...

'y-youre so ugly...' i whispered to myself

i scanned my whole body with my eyes

'i'm so ugly... my belly isn't flat, my wrists are disgusting, my skin is dry, my hair is tangled, my face is wrinkled...'

for how long have i locked myself in my room..? for days... for how long have i starved myself? for weeks... who am i? am i even a person anymore? when i say that i dont feel like myself anymore, i surely am not lying...

i stared at myself through the mirror for a pretty long time, thinking of nothing... just... blank...do i really deserve this? maybe i do...

10:00 am...

Such a crybaby... crying in the morning, crying in the afternoon, crying at night...crying all day... that's all i do. why? i have no idea why... it just comes out.

11:30 am...

i got a call? from an unknown number? what the heck...

should i pick it up?... right... i should... what am i worried about? it's not like whoever is calling is gonna kill me right? and neither do i care if they do...

*on call*

i didnt say anything, rather, i waited for the person to speak first.

???: h-hello?

i didnt speak, at all.. honestly, i literally forgot how to speak after all of that shit... what am i supposed to say?

???: "Y/N?"

huh? how does he know my name?

Y/N: "i-i..." i really had no idea what to say..

???: "Y/N! i'm kook! remember?"

"K-Kook?" i whispered to myself, but he surely heard it.

Y/N: "why did you c-call me Jungkook?" i asked

Jungkook: "J-ju..." he immediately knew that something was wrong since i called him by his name instead of just calling him "Kook" because i only call him by his name when i'm serious...

Y/N: "why did you call me Jungkook?" i asked again.

he didn't say anything... but i did hear a tiny humming noise from him but... thats not the humming of happiness... is... he perhaps... c-crying?

i stayed silent... and soon there was an ice cold silence... but it wasnt awkward, it was like we knew what we were saying to each other without having to use words...it was like we were reading each other's minds...

i started hearing little sniffs, little sounds coming from his mouth which indicated that he was trying really hard to hold back his soft moans and cry silently... i said nothing... stayed silent... but tears forming in my eyes... trying to hold them back from rolling down my cheeks...

Jungkook: "i-im sorry..."

and that's when my tears started to fall uncontrolably, and that was the moment i knew that i needed him here, beside me... but... i can't do this, i love him but i don't want to give him false hope like i did to myself... i loved him before and it's the same right now but... my love isn't enough for me to give permissions to come back... i dont want him... i dont need him... i can stay alone, laugh alone, cry alone.... die alone...