Attempted Suicide

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Third Person POV:

Dear Reg, Lily and Cius, 

I'm sorry. I'm sorry it had to end like this. I'm sorry i didn't tell you sooner. 

Everyday, you asked me the same question, "how are you?", do I answer  you with something else other than "I'm fine"? No. I don't. But this time I will tell the truth and say I'm not fine. You know why I'm not fine? Because i'm tired of living. I'm tired of seeing people's faces. I'm tired of looking at myself in the mirror, crying. I'm tired of being alone whenever I need someone to talk to. I'm tired of feeling like this. And I'm tired of being me. But Thank you all.

Thank you for the friendship, thank you for the smile. Thank you for the love you showed me even though it was only for a while. True, my heart was broken and yes, my eyes did cry. But the pain is all over now because I have learned to say goodbye.

I love you much, please don't cry when I'm dead.

I'm sorry,

Severus.

The raw emotions he had kept suppressed for years finally escaped and rolled down his cheeks. 3 teardrops splattered onto the page, smudging the ink slightly. He removed his scarf and placed it with the letter atop of the astronomy tower. The cold air whipped at his clothes but he didn't care anymore. After all, he would be dead in a while. He would take a walk around Hogwarts. Take in it's beauty on last time. For a small while, he would live for himself. 

His feet carried him to the forbidden forest. As he basked in the light of the moon, he felt a living presence come up to him. It was a stag. Almost purely black, graceful and eyes hazel like fresh almonds. They reminded Severus of someone, though he was not so sure who. It was accompanied by a grim dog, Severus recalled from his divination class. The stag cocked his head, almost asking as if what's wrong. Severus felt it couldn't hurt to tell. It was only an animal, after all. He sighed. 

"Do you ever feel like nobody knows the real you? Because I feel like that. Nobody knows how many times I've cried in my room when nobody was watching. Nobody knows how many times I've lost hope, how many times I've been let down. Nobody knows how may times I've felt like I'm about to snap, but I don't, for the sake of others. Nobody knows the thoughts that go through my head when I'm sad, how horrible they truly are. Nobody. Knows. Me." The dog walked over and put his head in his lap. "Thanks buddy, but it's OK. It'll be over soon." With that, he stood up and walked away. The animals watched his retreating figure before slowly transforming back. "Pads, what have we done?" 

"We fucked up."

"We gotta tell moony. He'll know what to do."

Poor Severus. Hopefully, someone will come and save him. THANK YOU FOR READING!

This story was inspired by @maiaiaial and her story "to start anew".

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