lonely and forgotten[discontined]

*in ways we must find hope*

S h i n s o  P o v :

I felt the salty tears fall as I stared at the big bright moon. All the memory's before and after I jumped came flooding back like a sweet but bitter drink that got spilt. I saw the silver light shine onto near by objects and shrubbery and the stars twinkle along to the full moons rhythm. I remembered it all. How I could feel the wind on top of the building and the sharp dust on my bare feet as I stood there. 

How I felt free and like I could fly. I remember my last moments up there and how I was leaning my head towards the moon. All the air beneath me as I fell holding me like a blanket before I hit the ground. When I hit the ground it felt everything. I felt all of my bones breaking almost like it was in slow motion. "Are you okey Shinso?" I heard the nurse say wiping one of my tears away.

I nodded my head and wiped the remainders on my tears. "T-The moon just reminded me of a certen night..." I spoke with a crackling sobbing voice. Now was a decision I had to make. Do I continue my ways of hurting myself or do I set myself free into a cage of normal humanity? So I be health or do I die? Do i still want to be a hero? Do I even know what I want? "We can go back inside if you would like?" he spoke worried.

I shook my head. I wanted to be here. Being here made me forget I was in the hospital. Being here made me forget I needed a lung transplant. Being here made me forget i was sick. Being here made me forget. Being here made me feel....normal. We stayed out there for about 20 more minutes before he brought me back to my room and put me to sleep.

Wonder if hes going to tell somebody about what happened earlier. Wonder if i'm actually going to except their help this time. Do I take the medication? I wish I had some answers to all these questions. If Kaminari was here he would tell me to get better for him so that we could run free together. So we could be vigilantes or join a gang. So we could help people and ourselves. So we could be together. I miss him. I wonder whats he doing? With that I drifted to sleep.

K a m i n a r i  P o v :

I started to wander into my own brain and thoughts thinking of what Shinso was thinking when he jumped and what he was doing now. I know where he is and it is killing me that I cant go see him...that I cant go save him from that hell. I know he suffers from anorexia and bulimia and that that's not tolerated in a hospital. I know hes probably wishing his attempt worked.

"Kaminari, is it okey if I weigh you?" Kiriogiri broke my train of thought. I nodded and he brought me over to the scale, weighed me, then wrote it down. Wonder if he can figure out that i'm like Shinso in the way I throw up after eating and don't eat sometimes. "Kaminari how are your eating habits?" he questioned. This is where I start to lie. "There fine...sometimes when i'm at work I forget to eat though" I whispered still looking down. 

I haven't lifted my vision since I told Dabi. I didn't want to look anyone in the eye. I was to useless and pitiful for that. He wrote down my reply and moved from question to question trying to figure something out. I wasn't going to let him know more of my secrets, though I do suppose if I live here long enough hell catch on. Hopefully not but he is smart.

"Why do you have open wounds on your knuckles Kaminari" he was puzzled like anyone else would be. I had to come up with a fast lie for that one. Nobody ever asked me about it....not even mr. Aizawa or Present Mic or any other of the UA staff. They properly thought it was training or a job. "Its from my job" I blurted out in a suspicious way. God i'm stupid. "A job?" he was more puzzled then before. Maybe hell drop it? Hopefully? Maybe?

"What do you work as Kaminari?" he asked in a warm way. It was almost scary. This whole situation one wrong move and my life may as well be over. "I work as a stripper" I answered. He put down the note book and pen and nodded his head. "Dabi did say he found you in the area of all those underground strip clubs and bars" he stated. Wonder when Dabi told him that. 

Kiriogiri finished up some more things and said that I should get some sleep. He took me to a small but nice kinda run down room and said he would be back later. He was right I was tired do I laid down in the bed but all to my own fault I cant sleep. I want to save Shinso....I saw the medical centre they could help Shinso too. Shinso why would you try and end it all. We were so post to do that together. I felt tears form in my eyes.

Like little crystals that form in caves they glimmered as they fell down my cheeks. Shinso I know your in pain....I want to help you. Breaking down in tears was a nightly event but this time it wasn't under some store balcony or on the floor of my parents bathroom. I know a way to help myself in this situation but I need something sharp. 

D a b i  P o v :

I was sitting at the bar waiting for Kiriogiri to come back and spit the news about Denki. Wish I had a bottle of rum right now, just as I was thinking about one kid another came up to me. "Why didn't you just kill the little brat?" Shigaraki was now sitting beside me with a glass of rum. The bitch knows its my chosen drink. Crusty taunting me...! "Because hes like us shiggy...." I started looking off into the distance. 

"....Hes misunderstood and society hates him. Look at the kid, just look at him. He came here in a strippers uniform, he looks malnourished and the kid doesn't even have a smile. He needs us shiggy. He wants to die and we need to help." I took his glass of rum and downed the rest of it. He kinda gave me an annoyed glance before looking off into the distance too. 

" So we help the kid and give him a family....he help him live" Shiggy understood surprisingly. We sat there a bit longer in understanding silence before misty man came out from a hall way. "So find out anything useful? Anything we can help with?" Crusty man wined. Kiriogiri walked behind the bar and took my empty glass of rum and started cleaned it. "Hes tried to commit suicide over 20 times, self-harms, I suspect some kind of eating disorder and I also think he may have trauma."

He finished cleaning the glass and put it back. "Also Dabi no drinking till you talk to me" He said in a sturn tone. Of fucking course the misty bitch doesn't want me to drink. About an hour past and we tried to find different strategies to help the poor kid. We came up with a plan to make sure he didn't try and attempt again and try and not self harm.

Along with regular scheduled meals to see if he does have some kind or ED. I wanted to go cheek on him so Kiriogiri and I went to his room. It was close to morning so hopefully the kid got some kind of sleep. I knocked on the door then walked in as soon as I did I wish I didn't. There the kid was with a pair of slit wrist due to a piece of broken glass that he found. He was just staring at us wide eyes before he dropped the glass.

aye yo tis ash, sorry for the late chapter took me a bit of time to write.

1411 words