Necklace of Hope (Military Series #1)

Chapter 31 : MARUPOK

Lampas limang minuto siguro akong naestatwa sa kinatatayuan ko dahil sa ginawa ni Madi.

Hinalikan niya ako! Yes, it's only on my cheek but still, she kissed me!

Brianna Madison Angeles kissed me!

I am starting to lose my mind. Madi's doing great in making me crazy.

I calmed myself for a while before I decided to get inside the car. Tanginang hirap ng ganito! Nakakabaliw na talaga!

Ano ba, Madi? Gusto mo ba ako o hindi?

What if she likes me? Ano naman ang gagawin ko?

Syempre, I will do everything to win her. I will do everything to be deserving of her love. I will do everything to deserve her.

Kung gusto niya naman siguro ako, makikipag hiwalay naman siya kay Danny, 'di ba? No matter how much I love her, I still don't think that I deserve to be her boy toy. She should break up with Danny. Even though I hate that guy, he doesn't deserve to be cheated on. No one does, actually.

But if she doesn't like me, I will do what I had promised to Mama. I will leave Laguna peacefully. I will go back to Davao and serve my beloved country there. I will go back to my old life. I will let Madi and Danny live their lives peacefully, like how it was before I came here.

I finally have my answer to my question for myself before.

What if she orders me to leave? Will I obey her?

The answer to that is yes.

If she wants me to leave and to be gone, then so be it. I will leave her. If that's her decision, I would gladly obey and respect it.

I will respect her decision no matter what it takes. That's how I know how to love. That's how I know how to love her properly. To respect her beliefs and decisions, even if it means it will break me.

All I want right now is to know how she feels towards me. Because I'm tired of keeping myself in the dark. Pagod na akong mangapa sa dilim tungkol sa kung anong nararamdaman niya para sa akin.

She keeps on giving me mixed signals that I don't understand. Umaasa ako nang umaasa at sa tuwing nasa itaas na ako, bigla niya akong hihilahin pababa para malugmok.

I should confront her as soon as possible. This is not just for me but this is for the three of us. I want her to be free if she's not happy with her relationship with Danny. I want Danny to have a break-up he deserves. A peaceful one, with proper closure and without a third party involved. Besides, I don't want to cause someone's agony.

Nakarating ako sa bahay namin at agad umakyat sa kwarto ko. Iniwanan ko ang cellphone ko sa kwarto ko dahil hindi ko naman ginagamit lagi.

I reached for it and when I unlocked my phone, I'm surprised to see my flooded notifications. Madi reacted to my posts. I didn't posted anything aside from my profile photo and cover photo. I just share memes whenever I have time or I just feel like it. So most of the posts that she reacted to was my shared memes.

She stalked my account. Is this a friendly gesture? Of course, not.

I stalk her account every time because I have feelings for her. I stalked her account before, when we haven't met each other yet, because I'm curious about her. I need to find her that time so stalking her was really helpful on my part.

She kissed me on my cheek. That's a quick kiss but it is still a kiss!

Even in my wildest dreams, I have not dreamed about her kissing me. I almost thought that it's impossible for her to kiss me. Who am I she should kiss, anyway? I'm not her boyfriend nor her suitor. I'm just her mere friend.

She keeps on clouding my mind with her sweet and hopeful words.

She said that I made her happy. She said that I gave hope to her dying heart and a lot more of her sweets words that I can't think of anymore.

Ibinagsak ko ang ulo ko sa unan at ipinikit ang mga mata ko. Huminga ako nang malalim at nag isip nang mabuti ng mga sasabihin sa kaniya. Dapat ay hindi siya magagalit sa akin.

Are my deductions enough to assume that she has feelings for me? O masyado lang akong feelingero?

You shouldn't mess this up, Ethan! Huwag mong gagalitin 'yan! You have to choose the right words, wisely, this time!

Ilang minuto na ang mga nakakalipas at hindi pa rin ako nakakahanap ng mga tamang salita na dapat kong sabihin at itanong sa kaniya.

"Mahal mo ba ako?"

No. That's too assuming and too straightforward. She might get overwhelmed.

"May gusto ka ba sa akin?"

No. Pareho lang no'ng nauna.

"Madi, do you have feelings for me?"

Tangina, bakit lahat ay pare-pareho? Walang tamang salita!

Ginulo ko ang buhok ko dala ng sobrang frustration.

Only Madi can make me feel this frustrated. Even Mama can't do this to me. Only Madi could.

Nang narealize kong mukhang walang papasok na mga tamang salita sa utak ko sa ngayon dahil masyadong magulo ang utak ko, napag desisyunan kong maligo muna. Para marefresh ang buong katawan at utak ko.

I showered for an hour or so. It indeed helped me. Nakapag relax ako at mukhang makakapag isip ako nang tama ngayon.

Kinuha ko ang cellphone ko mula sa bed side table.

I know what I should do. I have thought about this thoroughly while I'm in the shower. Dapat ay hindi na ako magpa ligoy-ligoy pa. Dapat ay straight to the point na nga ang pag tatanong ko para mas mapadali. Mas mabilis kong matatanong, mas mabilis niyang masasagot.

Magtatype na sana ako ng sasabihin ko nang bigla siyang nauna sa pagchat sa akin.

Brianna Madison Angeles :

Hi, Ethan! Can you visit here tomorrow? :)

Kakapunta ko lang sa inyo ah? Bakit ako pupunta ulit?

Weh? Kunwari pa 'to. Gusto naman.

Ano kaya ang mayroon? Bakit ako pupunta sa kanila?

E kahit naman anong rason 'yan, pupunta at pupunta ka pa rin naman, Ethan. Ganiyan ka karupok.

Come to think of it... mukhang sumasang ayon yata sa akin ang tadhana?

Gusto ko siyang maka usap tungkol sa aming dalawa, tapos ay niyaya niya akong pumunta sa kanila.

Is this a sign that we should talk about our feelings in person?

Mas mabuti nga kung harapan para makita ko ang reaksyon niya. Bobo mo kasi, Ethan. Kapag mga ganiyan na bagay ay hindi dapat sa chat pinag uusapan! Kung kasama mo si Cyrus, nasabihan ka na naman ng bading no'n!

I heaved a heavy sigh before I typed in my reply.

Ethan Kendrick Saldivar :

Sure. I'll be there.