The next Monday, or should I say the next week of summer school, my English teacher wanted us to start reading this one novel. I think it was "Fast Sam, Cool Clyde, and Stuff". I think. I know I got the "Stuff" part right. It's weird how I never really remember the book yet I have it so firmly placed on my mind.
The book was about this one kid "Stuff" who moves into this new neighborhood and becomes friends with these other neighborhood kids. That's basically it. It actually has a really nice plot. Unlike this story that I'm writing.
So yeah. We would be reading that book for the remainder of the summer. In my Math class nothing had changed so far. And I don't think things ever did change.
But for now it was just week 2. I still didn't know whether or not things were going to change.
I still always saw "she" down in the hallways. Talking to her friends. Laughing and joking around. Acting oh so ever happy. I was always thinking that if she was really that happy why couldn't I do the same. Maybe it was my fault too for the fact that I always acted the same way when she was near and I talked to my friends.
Maybe she was hurting just like I was
But that was just a theory, until I proved it.
Back during May, I think it was May, "she" and I were all over the place. We always hung around and laughed out loud together and joked around about pure nonsense. It was sweet.
I however still hadn't "made my move" on her. The shy kid with low self-esteem was still there. And I tried so hard to get rid of him. But even if we weren't doing stuff like that it was just nice to have her as my own. And that was ok for now.
My friends still didn't really know we were dating yet. I didn't feel like I had the responsibility to tell anybody. At the time I don't think anybody knew. I knew people suspected it though. I could tell.
Jacob was the first of my friends to ask something. "Hey Alex are u going out with "she"?" I of course had to say yes. As much as I didn't want to tell anybody it also wasn't good to not tell anybody. He was the only person I told and the only person that knew for sure she was my girlfriend.
Eventually though "she" and I became careless. We started to be more "lovey dovey" and whatever. Like this one time when it started to rain out on the playground I was moping by myself as I usually did and she came up from behind me and hugged me. "Alex wait for me!" She didn't say anything but I, being old fashion and stuff, I put my jacket around her and it was just me and her under my jacket avoiding the rain. It was really cool. But since then I knew people now were certain we were dating. It was such a dead giveaway.
It was already spring but it was still cold. The cold made it perfect to hold somebody close out in the cold. Too bad I never had the courage to do that with "she".
This one day I was laying down on this one bench. It was kind of far away from the playground and everybody else. Sometimes I just had to be alone and think about stuff. What was I going to do with "she"? As I was reminiscing about it "she" came out of nowhere and sat by me. I was kind of nervous because earlier that day she had told me that she had to tell me something that was important. And that could be anything. She told me it wasn't anything bad but I still always had that same "worst case scenario" feeling.
"She" got really close up on me and I being the real romantic teenager that I was put my left arm around her. She then turned her face towards me and said "Alex, I...I need to tell you something. I have always liked you. Since like the beginning of the school year." I was shocked at first because I never really knew that. It was unexpected. I knew she liked me now but I never once knew that she had liked me earlier. It would of all made is so much simpler if she had said something before. I then responded with "Well you know, I do too. We're kind of going-out." We laughed and I held her closer.
This one girl came out of nowhere and said "Whoa, sorry I thought you guys were making out." I was like really. You're just going to come up out of nowhere and say that. But thanks to her I got to courage to say to "she" "You wanna kiss?"
And she looked at me blankly and nodded. I then did what I did.
I kissed her.
It was really weird to just out nowhere kiss her. You couldn't believe the feeling that I had going on inside. It was really warm feeling. It felt as if my whole body went numb. I knew I couldn't feel my legs for sure. That other girl was still there. Just standing by. She then interrupted and said "DO IT AGAIN." And so "she" and I did. I don't know if she was getting some sort of thrill out of it. I think she was. She then left and left me and my girlfriend alone.
I guess I kind of owe it to that random girl for easing the tension.
Back in summer school my friends and I were sent to the gym for some reason. I can't remember why. I guess it was just random. We spent one full day there. Sitting on the benches reminded me of "she". The whole school did. I hated that there were still four weeks left. Why couldn't this just end? I was beginning to get real impatient. I'm pretty sure everybody was. Everyday felt the same. For the rest of that week of school everything went the same.
I think it was July now. Or maybe it was still June. I don't know. It was either the end June or the beginning of July.
I remember one day after school I was loitering in the park. Not doing much. I was sitting on the ground, reclining next to a tree. There were little kids playing on the playground. I was just the awkward kid sitting by himself. I then moved to the benches in the middle of the playground. It was a nice day. There was a gentle breeze and the sun was beating down on everybody. I was under the shade of a tree so I was okay.
As I sat by myself the weirdest thing happened. This one group of punk/emo kids came up to me. It wasn't the fact that they were emo kids or anything. It was just weird that they talked to me. I mean nobody talks to me. That's how it usually was.
I had met these people before, like a month and a half ago. Like I remember one day when my mom let my little brother stay and play on the playground. And I was miserable as ever. I sat down in bench a little further from my mom. That's when this one real emo girl came up to me. Oh, and this was back when I had my long hair too. At the time I didn't know what being emo was. To this day I still don't know. I don't think anybody really knows what that is. Anyways there she was like all awkward and whatever. I forgot exactly what the conversation I had with her was. We just sort became instant friends.
Now there she was again. Around this time I still found emo girls a little creepy. I was shy as ever. More shy than I am today. All I remember doing was sitting and not knowing what to say. The same people that had been with her last time were still there. This one kid was teasing me on why I had gotten a haircut. I wish I knew why did. The rest of my time there was awkward. I think she was flirting with me. I couldn't be so sure. I still didn't know much about stuff like that back then. I decided that it was time for me to go. So I got up. I said goodbye to my cool acquaintances and left on home.
They walked with me until they reached their own house. The emo girl had a sister. She was pretty as well but didn't dress as dark. Their house was a block away from the park. They walked right on in and let me continue my way home.
