Azula: Redemption

Chapter 3

"Azula!"
I heard my mother scream from down the hall, she had heard Zuko's cry and of course, she came running.

Running down the golden halls filled with light streaming in from either side of the floor to ceiling windows. The light it created reminded me of fire, of warm, glowing embers.

Her steps padded up to me, one after another until she knelt, not in front of me, but in front of Zuko, coddling her precious son as her daughter stood right in front of her, begging to be noticed.

"Zuko, are you hurt?" She asked in the most soothing tone, she never used that on me, in fact, I don't ever recall hearing her loving words, they were always directed at him.

He stared up at her, wide eyed, his golden eyes swimming with unleashed tears. "I-I was just playing with my sword, and she sent a fire ball at me! My arm hurts mom!" He screamed, acting like the little spoiled prince he was.

"It was an accident mom, I didn't mean to! I swear! I was just practicing like dad told me to!" I truly didn't mean to hurt my brother. My fire was an accident. She has to believe me.

"We have talked about this young lady, you are to play nice to your brother, you are not to taught him, hit him or burn him, you will act like a princess, not a monster." She said, staring me down as though I held no place in the world, as though I held no place in her heart.

She grabbed Zuko's hand and strolled away, I stood there, feet planted as I watched him look back at me, hair blowing in the wind, with not hatred, but knowing. Knowing that he was her favorite and I was nothing more than a sad excuse for a daughter.
.....
Later that evening, I walked across the courtyard, staring down each guard as though they were the root of my problems. They looked away terrified, as they should be, while at only four, I was the princess, if they crossed me, they would have an audience with father.

The sun was set late in the evening and compared to earlier that day, the sun was a hot, scorching red that devoured everything it touched. It was destructive and it was beautiful. I could see it's reflection in the duck pond as I watched the mother duck lead her children, not one, but two followed, mocking me.

I blasted my orange fire straight at the mother duck, watching it narrowly miss and have it come charging at my feet. I yanked back and started to run, only to see my father approaching in his beautiful red robes and a crown of fire atop his head.

I knelt down as he approached, respect was what earned my father's love. "Azula, your mother had spoke to me about your cruelness to your brother, you cannot behave in such an insolent manner, control yourself." He seethed staring down at me with fierce determination.

"But father I didn't mean to-" I tried to explain but a hard slap to my face cut the words off and blood, as red as the sun came out of my mouth.

I stared down at my hands confused as to what happened and why my father would do such a thing. "You are a royal princess of the Fire Nation, the most powerful element in the world, yet you act like a commoner who cannot control her flames, and yet you believe I am upset about your brother? I am upset at your lack of skill, at your lack of control." He said not looking apologetic at the red on my face, on my hands.

"If you are to be my daughter, you need to stop loving, you need to stop caring, you need only serve, you need only want power, not attention from your mother who was never there for you, I was there for you Azula, and yet you disgrace me. Why?"

"I'm sorry father, I was only practing, I love my brother and mother- I" I said, he cut me off saying "You lower yourself to loving those caring fools? Only power can give you a place in this world, it's the only thing that can make you truly happy. Keep your power and make them burn."

He walked away, the grass seeming to part and the animals to run away from his presence. He was the only one to ever give me attention, the only one to see me as what I was capable of, never mother and never Zuko. He was my fire lord and I was his daughter, I was a protege and he could bestow my power.

When I looked back at the duck pond, the second duckling, weak and frail couldn't keep up, while the first was swimming faster than her mother.

Wiling the sun into my bones, I blasted all of my strength at the mother duck and the weak son, and when I looked, my flame was no longer red and orange, it was blue. Icy and cold blue, no longer pure and no longer filled with love, only pain.
....
I woke up drenched with sweat at the dream, a vivid powerful memory. That was my deciding moment, that was when I decided that love was weak and that to achieve acceptance, power was the only thing that mattered.