Chapter 16: Pause

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The dinner hour came and went quickly and peacefully. Around midnight, while Kevin finished closing out the till, Katherine took the last sips of a big mug of tea.

"You can stay with me again tonight. If you'd like." Kevin kept his eyes on the receipt in front of him.

"No, thank you," Katherine said.

He looked up at her, a bit perplexed and maybe a little hurt.

"I just don't want Mark dictating where I sleep. I don't want to be afraid."

"Okay," he said. "I'll put the chain on the door before I leave."

Katherine wasn't so sure how effective a chain would be when Mark could clearly break down the door, but she tried to ignore it. You're okay, she reminded herself.

Kevin did as he promised. Katherine triple checked that the door was locked and the chain was secure. She sat on the bed and pulled the box out of her backpack, marveling again at the glitter than fell around her without leaving a trace. She stared at the photograph for a long time. She was really amazed by how striking the similarities were between the two men. She knew twins, but these were truly mirror images of one another. Neither looked like they were carrying the weight of a war and there were no bandages or scars she could see. Sometimes she saw them look at one another as if they were speaking in glances.

Eventually she tried to fall asleep. She pulled her red blanket out of her bag and tucked it tight under her chin. She rolled over, and over, and over, and over again. She'd fall asleep for maybe twenty minutes at a time and then a floorboard would creak, or a branch would snap outside, and she was wide awake again. Just after 5, she gave up. She got in the shower, trying to let the lavender soap and warm steam trick her body into being tired, but it didn't work. She dried her hair quickly and pulled on a pair of leggings and her coziest sweatshirt and big woolen socks. Her stomach had realized she hadn't eaten much for dinner and she was craving toast, so she plodded downstairs.

When she reached the landing, however, she saw that the pub wasn't empty.

Kevin was sleeping in the booth where they had drifted off nights before. His head was flat on the table at an angle that made her neck hurt. Katherine smiled to herself and walked over to him. She reached out and put her hand on his head, his short hair feeling soft under her palm. He started to stir.

"Have you been here all night?" she whispered.

"I know you're very tough and brave," he said, turning his head to the side so one eye was looking up at her. "But I just didn't want to take a chance."

"You look uncomfortable," she said.

"Not as cozy as last night, that's for sure." His eyes had closed again. He sounded like he might fall back asleep.

"You should go home and get some real sleep," she said, fixing his earring. "I'll be okay."

"Did you sleep?" he asked pointedly.

"Sure."

"Liar."

"Well," she conceded, "at least I was in a bed. Close enough."

"Bed, booth, same thing." Kevin's eyes opened again just for a moment. "I just didn't want you to be alone."

Kevin looked very peaceful, his breath slow and steady.

"You'll have to feed Lottie at least," Katherine reminded him.

"Bloody cat."

Katherine laughed and pulled her hand away from his head. His mouth twitched slightly, almost into a frown. She went back into the kitchen and, as quietly as she could manage, started to make coffee and two pieces of toast. She desperately wanted peanut butter. She looked as the coffee dripped, but eventually settled for just butter.

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