Adore You | ✔

Chapter 20

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Chapter 20

A small part of me did not want to go. I didn't know how to act around people like Maria's family, and I didn't want to see Robbie.

I put my phone down and looked out the cage of the fire escape. The sun was nice today, and something was calming about listening to cars and human movement.

In Miami, I lived in the suburbs. There was a lot of sun and a lot of cars but not that much movement. It was a strange feeling, but even if I didn't know any of the people walking underneath, it was comforting.

I liked to wonder where they were going? What conversations did they have? It was strange to think that people had a life outside your own. When I was younger, I couldn't wrap my head around this idea. The world started with me opening my eyes and paused when I went to sleep at night.

I had the self-centered notion that whatever happened to me was the most important thing. As you get older, those ideas tend to seem absurd, and in the aftermath of selfish impulsiveness, they were shameful. As you get older, you realize that you aren't the only person in this universe with goals, pain, and laughter. 

Not only that but that millions and billions have existed before you and will continue to exist afterward. We are a speck in the history of histories, so unimportant. It was both freeing and terrifying. There was a big part of me that liked order. I liked having control over situations. Extrinsic factors were inconvenient, and all had to be accounted for.

Another louder part of me wanted to force myself into situations that terrified me.

This reason was partly why I always gave in so quickly to everything Maria asked. While kind and friendly, she was just as bossy as I was. Her world was so different from mine, and there were factors that I could never even imagine because it was so far apart from everything I had grown up with.

It was the only thing in my life at the moment where I willingly took the passenger seat.

I stretched out my legs and closed my eyes. I could feel the baby hairs at the back of my neck, sticking to me from sweat.

I should shower, I thought to myself. I also needed to make dinner so that my father would have something to eat when he came home at 2 in the morning.

I stretched and looked over the railing again. We lived in front of a small grocery store that had their fruits sitting out on the sidewalk. A woman was talking to the store clerk. They seemed to know each other personally. The clerk was laughing at something she said, and she playfully smacked him a few times.

I did another long stretch and went inside through my window.

The uber Maria called for me came early, so I ran outside with my hair wet and my shoes untied. I carried two boxes of shoes. While I may fit into her dresses, I definitely would not fit into her shoes. Maria was tall, and her shoe size matched her height.

When the Uber arrived at her house, she was already waiting outside for me. My hair had dried with the AC, and I am sure it was a frizzy mess.

She gave me a big hug.

"I'm so happy to have someone normal again," She said into my hair while she squeezed me tight.

We went upstairs to her room and passed by Robbie's closed door. I could hear music coming from inside. It sounded like a pop song they play on the radio, not like anything he had in his car. Abigail must be here.