✔️ ILLICIT DESIRES | 18 +

Chapter 4

🇲🇽 MEXICO 🇲🇽

RITA

All Children Of Mother Nature Have Two Sides.

It's bound in the seed, and when the fertile womb of the Mother breeds, it may grow: Rotten and pure. Rebellious and compliant. Dominate and submissive.

Two sides rooted in one seed. One seed with two sides. Which side dominantes decides the matrix — yet the seed always obtains two personas.

That's how twisted the human child is in his nature. That's how twisted Father is, his arms like branches, thick and sharp, dominating me into submission.

The only way for me to break free is to grow and tower over him, which is impossible. Because his branches are rotten, I know they will strike me the moment I rebel. They always have.

I want to stand up against his shitstorm, but when I even show a subtle objection, he screams and thunders over me. Every day I grow a little more, I feel like the short life Mother gifted me slips away.

I long for freedom. I yearn for the sun. I feel like I am missing the beauty of nature, locked up like a domestic pet of his. I want liberty. But wishes don't come true just by blowing a dandelion. And neither does mine.

Father decided it's time for me to be plucked from home. And he has also chosen the hand that shall pluck me — like a flower — as his. And I know the hand of my potential suitor will make me rot.

I shouldn't wish selfishly for more. I should appreciate my place and space, as the beautiful and deadly hues of flowers adorn every corner of my room. The wildness of nature I will be deprived of when I leave my space.

I know I have to act and convince my father to call off this arrangement about my life today, if I don't want to leave my comfort zone — my room, where I grew up.

I already devised a plan. I am smart and ambitious — always have been — and that's a trait of mine he loathes to the core. That's why he terminated my education after high school.

My knowledge unsettles him, as it means more independence. But, one seed, two traits, remember? I didn't comply. I rebelled in the dark — I enrolled myself in college online, behind his back.

And I accomplished my goal. I have my Bachelor's in Economics. In other circumstances, I should be showered with appraisals. But based on my rough life, I dread unveiling this disclosure.

I wish my brother were here. I need his support. But he cannot be. Mother Nature consumed him — he rests in peace.

So, I thrive in solitude, as my only companions are the plants in my room. They are my mental support as well. Maybe I'm crazed, but talking to my flowers feels better than talking to myself.

"I got this..." The copy of my degree rests on my lap, as I'm not going to risk him tearing the original one in case my plan — showing him that we don't need a male hand to run our business; that I am bright enough to thrive and lead our business to success — backfires on me.

The floral scent in my room doesn't calm me down. My palms are sweaty. I even feel the beads of sweat under my armpits.

With a deep exhalation, I try to maintain my subtle semblance of serenity as I enter the bathroom. Yet, I feel my guts twisting and knotting with apprehension.

My hands are planted on the edges of the sink, my knuckles turning white from the fierce grasp of anxiety. I exhale and close my eyes for a brief second. "Mother Nature, give me strength..."