Still Hiding? (Ereri)

Chapter 5

....

What...just happened..?

Did he..
He did...

Where was I going?
Ah right, my room. Why can't I stop tearing up? I shouldn't be crying. It's nothing. I'm fine. It was just a misunderstanding...

But why does it hurt so much..?

Why did he have to make fun of me straight to my face? Does he really hate me that much? Am I wrong for thinking things? Wasn't he the one that implied things?

I opened the door to my room. Everyone was getting ready for bed as they turned to look at me.

"Eren?!?" Mikasa came running towards me. "What happened to you!? Why are you shirtless!? Why are you crying?!" She continued.
"Mikasa calm down, give him some space. He'll talk when he's ready." Armin gently pushed Mikasa away, and while supporting my mess of a body he helped me sit on a chair.

I couldn't stop crying for a long time. I'm a mess.
After what felt like 30 minutes, I finally found the strength to stop and speak.

"Eren?" Mikasa said softly while still patting my back. "Are you ready to talk?"
"Y-yeah." Still sobbing, I replied to her.
"Can the rest of the guys listen?" Armin asked me, staring at me with reassuring eyes.
"I'd rather not.. sorry guys.."

I felt terrible kicking them out of their own room but.. I don't want them to know.

"Hey man, it's okay." Connie pat my shoulder.
"Yeah if you need anything, tell us." Sasha smiled at me.
"..." Jean just stood there. Connie slightly pushed him. "Yeah. What they said."
"Thank you guys." I sniffed as they smiled and walked away.
"Now tell me what happened."
"Mikasa! Let him breathe!" Armin yelled at the girl. "Take your time."
"Thanks." I took a deep breath and started talking.

I couldn't just tell them why I was crying out of context. So I went way back to our first kiss. They listened attentively. Mikasa's mouth was open the entire time, she was really shocked. Armin, on the other hand, looked at me with a sad smile. I would occasionally break down in between sentences, but both of them helped me through it.

When I got to the last part of the story, that just happened, Mikasa was furious. Armin had to hold her down a few times as she was about to leave the room.

"I can't believe that guy!!!" Mikasa stood up once again. Armin held once more. "How can he do that to you?!!"
Armin pulled her down, "Mikasa!! Calm down!" He turned to look at me. "Technically speaking, he didn't actually tell you that you were going to do anything like that. But, his actions did imply something of the sort."
"Am I in the wrong here? I mean, if I'm in the wrong I get it.." I teared up again. Why am I crying so much? I'm such a crybaby and for what? This is all my fault.

"No Eren. You're both in the wrong. Stop blaming yourself, I know you are." Armin said firmly.
"But, if it's my fault then there's no reason for me to cry. I caused this!"
"No Eren!! This is not your fault! You both fucked up. You have every right to be sad and cry. And you also have the right to me mad at him!" Mikasa almost yelled at me. I know her tone was used just so that I listen.
"What he did is unforgivable. You should be mad at him and not yourself!" She continued.
"But--"

"Listen Eren, I'm on your side. But you have to consider him too. You get drunk, ignore his orders, kiss him, then act like nothing happen. He reminds you what happened and yet you keep trying to be around him. He gives you hints to stay away and somehow you still keep going to him."
"Don't be ridiculous Armin, he's the Captain, need I remind you he's also older and supposed to be super mature! If he had an issue with how Eren acted he would've told him right to his face!"