Still Hiding? (Ereri)

Chapter 8

....

It's been 2 days since we found safety inside the castle walls. Historia was already being trained for her queen duties while I aimlessly walked around the castle, keeping myself busy with nothing in particular in order to not think about Levi and the others.

I'm worried, it has already been this long and we have no news from the others. Surely they couldn't still be fighting. It's been days. And they have Levi with them. Levi...
I was so caught up on thinking if he is and when he is coming back that I didn't realize that I don't even know what I'll do when he comes back.

He said we cannot continue our...whatever we had was. No one would accept it, everyone would be disgusted. A mere soldier and his Captain. A boy and a..man. No one would approve of this.

I know Levi and Commander Erwin are close friends, but above that they are soldiers, and Levi is the one taking orders from the Commander..
And Levi has no say in the decisions he makes.

But.. I don't want this to end. I want to stand by Levi's side. Hold his hand, and help him with whatever problem he is facing. I want to be there for him, but I feel like he doesn't feel the same..

What if he's actually doing this for fun? He did do some pretty fucked up things..
What if he doesn't even like me and he's doing this cause he's horny and bored?
Aaaaaah I need to stop thinking about thi--.

Bump

"Oh my!"
"Oh I'm sorry-" I looked up to the person I bumped into while in deep thought.

Shit.

"I am so sorry my Queen!!"
"Haha, relax Eren. It's not like you did it on purpose. Besides I'm not the queen yet." Historia said while wearing one of her signature kind smiles on her face.
"So, what were you thinking about that you didn't even notice me?" She asked, her smile still as kind as ever.
"Oh uh, nothing in particular.."
"You're a bad liar ya' know?" Sigh, of course I am..
"It's kind of... Personal.."

What are you even saying you dumbass.

"Well, I would gladly help you. But if you don't wanna talk about it then it's fine."
"..."
"Very well, if you need me you know where to find me." She turned around and started walking away.

I...

"Wait!!"
"Yes, Eren?"
"Promise me you won't judge me nor talk about this to anyone."
"My lips are sealed and my mind is clear and open."
"Then, let's go somewhere private."
"Of course, come with me."

She navigated me around the castle, walking through hallways I've never even managed to set foot on. This castle is truly huge.

"Here should be private enough."
"Thank you."
"No problem, now tell me what's bothering you."
"Sooo.. I'm worried about Captain Levi and the others. It's been days and no news from them."
"I'm sure they're fine, I did suggest to send backup but Commander Erwin said we should be kept low-key. Even if we're safe here we can never be too sure."
"Right.."

I can't tell her. I know she's kind and she won't judge me but, Levi will kill me if he finds out I told the queen about our affairs.

"But that's not entirely it. Is it?" She is smiling with a knowing expression.

Ugh, am I that easy to read?