Dimidium - Marvel Studios [7]

fifty-six.

I sat on the couch, my legs pulling up and resting on the cushions and a blanket draped over the lower half of my body. I was just sitting there, my hair pulled up in a bun and a random grey t-shirt of Steve's pulled on. I hadn't moved in what seems like hours now, the house completely still and quiet as I took in a breath and let out out every few seconds. Steve had given me a kiss when he left the house to go to his support group this morning, and that had been the last time I had moved today. I couldn't tell you what exactly I was staring at, but the window ahead of me showing the quiet Brooklyn street had seen many cars go past as I sat here perfectly still.

There was nothing going through my head right now, and there really hadn't been since I had run into Clint last week.

The front door opened, the sound of Steve's shoes stepping into the house echoing through the quiet rooms. "I have pizza" Steve called out as he closed the door with a thud, the sound of his keys hitting the bowl ringing out through the hallway as he pushed his shoes off of his feet. "Where are you?" he called out as he walked into the living room, his neck craned to see if I was upstairs quickly as he saw me sitting on the couch, stopping in his spot. "Hi" he said quietly as I didn't turn my head to look at him, not particularly wanting to see the worried look that was glazed over his eyes.

Once I didn't say anything Steve walked through to the kitchen, sitting the pizza on the counter as he pulled the jacket he was wearing from his arms. He placed it on the bar stool as he walked over to me, pushing the sleeves of the knitted sweater he was wearing up his arms as his feet creaked the floorboards. He remained silent as he picked up the coffee table, moving it further away from the couch as I kept my eyes forward, taking in a deep breath through my nose as I held it for a few beats. Steve bent down next to the couch, facing me as he sat on his knees. He pushed a stray stand of my hair behind my ear, my eyes still fixated forward as his hands lingered beside my cheek.

"Look at me" he whispered to my quietly, his words bouncing straight off of me as he waited for a few beats, being met with nothing but silence. He put his hands on either side of my chin, turning my head towards him as I stared blankly at him, his hand holding into my chin. "Talk to me" he whispered quietly, my eyes blinking a few times as he moved his hand to my cheek, running his thumb over it as I stared at his blue eyes. "What if it wasn't him?" I asked Steve, my voice coming out as barely a whisper as I stared at him, my eyes boring a hole into his.

Steve let out a sigh as he looked down at the ground, closing his eyes for a moment as his hand dropped from my face, my bottom lip already trembling. "What if I completely made it up" I started, lifting my hand to cover my mouth as Steve looked back up at me, his eyebrows knitted together in worry. "I gave Natasha this possibility that Clint might still be alive but what if he isn't?" I said as I put my hand in my forehead, the tears threatening to fall from my eyes as they pooled behind my lashes. Steve reached out once again, setting both of his hands on my cheeks as he held my face, making sure I was looking towards him.

"Was it Clint?" he asked me, his voice so gentle like he was afraid that his words might cause me to shatter right in front of him. "I think so" I replied with a nod of my head, being met with Steve shaking his head as his grip on my face tightened a little bit, his thumbs catching the tears as soon as they fell from my eyes. "Was it Clint? Yes or no" he asked again, a bit more forcefully as I let out a shaking breath, recalling Clint's eyes as I lay on the floor, waiting for him to bring down the sword that would have cut straight through my chest.

"Yes" I told Steve, making him nod his head at me as he lifted his eyebrows, trying to look much more enthusiastic than he was. "Then it was Clint" he confirmed for me, which I greatly appreciated after days of not being sure if I had indeed seen my old friend or not. "And Natasha is going to find him" Steve added as he nodded his head firmly, his eyes almost giving me hope as I kept my eyes on his, using his gaze to keep me from crying again. I set my hand on his for a moment, pulling my legs from the couch as Steve stood up with a heavy sigh.

He collapsed on the couch next to me, setting his arm along the back cushions as I rested my head on his chest. I leaned against his heart, the rhythmic beat calming me down as my breathing unconsciously synced to the rise and fall of his own chest. "I don't understand why he never reached out" I said eventually, my soft tone cutting through through the silence as Steve let out a small breath, clearing his throat before speaking. "Me neither" he replied, letting his hand fall onto my arm from the back of the couch as he trailed his thumb up and down my skin, leaving a trail of warmth. "But people do odd things when they lose someone they love" Steve finished, making me close my eyes as I squeezed them tightly, hoping that all the tears would retract back into my tear ducts by the time I opened them.

"I think we know that better than anyone" Steve added softly, kissing the top of my head as I opened my eyes back up slowly. "I just want to find him" I breathed out, Steve nodded his head as he looked down at me, squeezing my arm comfortingly as I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Me too" Steve replied softly, another sigh escaping my mouth as I closed my eyes again, honing into Steve's heartbeat once again. "Nat and Rhodey will track him down" he told me, his voice wavering slightly, telling me that he wasn't as sure of the fact as he was trying to make me believe.

"I hope so"

——

A/N: THIS IS ACTUALLY THE SECOND LAST CHAPTER OF THIS BOOK!
I have completely forgotten to give you regular updates on each chapter on how close we are to the end but there is only one part left!!
i've been updating once a week lately because i've been working on book 8 and trust me you are all in for a doozy of a book!
please do not forget to vote and comment and I hope you all loved the Stally fluff