Autumn Anecdotes

Thanks (Pt. 2)

The next day comes and Estelle shakes me awake.

"JACKIE JACKIE JACKIE!" she screamed into my ear, "WAKE UP, IT'S ALREADY TEN IN THE MORNING!"
Ten in the morning is early for me. I know that there's no stopping a determined Estelle, so I groggily rise, the light streaming through the window burning my eyes.

"Up and at 'em," she ordered, "Mom wants help with the food."

She exits the room, humming happily as I'm left in my tired pit of despair. I flop right back down into my bed, but my sister, knowing me all too well, peeks her head into the room.

"FEET ON THE FLOOR!"
Now my adreniline was pumping. No way I could could get back to bed now. I sit up, put my feet on the floor, and check my phone.

Julian: Good morning, handsome.

I can't help but grin like an idiot.

You: right back atcha, gorgeous

I get up and take a shower, looking straight ahead the whole time, add some product to my hair, and walk across the hall back into my room. A dress lays on my bed with a note that read: "You forgot to bring a dress! Love, Mom"

A pit forms in my stomach. I was just planning on wearing my khakis and a button up. The kee length, white and red dress sits there. I didn't want to upset mom, though, so I wore it anyway.

My hair, though thick, dried quick and fluffy. I head down stairs and into the kitchen and my mom squealed with glee.

"Oh! The dress looks so good on you!" she complimented, "You're such a pretty girl!"

I laughed a little bit, still disappointed, and headed into the living room. Belle stood in the living room, glass of water in hand and took one look at me. We had a mutual stare of grimace.

She walked up to me, and without hesitation, splashed her water on me, then laid down on the ground with a thud. The dress was soaked, almost unwearable. This kind of material would take all day to dry.

My mom and sister entered the room.

"Oh no!" my mom worried, "Are you okay, Belle?"

"Yeah, I just fell." she said, climbing up to her feet, "I'm sorry I spilled all over your dress, Jax."

I held back a grin. What a sly girl.

"It's okay, I have some sweaters I could wear."

My mom frowned in disappointment, but ever the optimist, she said "Well, you can always wear it for Christmas!"
I go upstairs, changing out of the dress, drying myself off, and changing into my black pants and my favorite turtle neck.

I come back down stairs, Belle flashing me a thumbs up, and I flashing one right back at her. The rest of the day was spent preparing food, my dad trying to impress my mom with his turkey stuffing skills, and the whole family going outside for our pre-dinner bonfire.

My grandmother and grandfather shared a blanket, my mom and dad sharing one two, and my sisters and I all huddling under the big blanket.

The way the bonfire worked was us saying aloud what we are thankful for, writing something we wish we didn't have on a piece of paper, and burning the pieces of paper in the bonfire.

"I'll go first," my mom cooed, "I am thankful for my wonderful daughters, my loving husband, and my incredible in-laws."

She took her balled up piece of paper and threw it into the fire.

We went around the circle until it finally got to me.

"I'm thankful for getting to go to school at my college of choice, and for all the people I surround myself with and-"

I stop myself before I might say anything I regret.

A sudden realization comes over me. I won't regret this. What happens happens and they're my family and they love me. They love me and they care for me and I want them to know and be a part of my life.

"And I'm thankful for getting it off my chest..."

I take a deep breath, preparing how I'm going to say this.

"That I am trans."

A silence sweeps over the circle. Bella is grinning ear to ear, and an awkward moment of silence goes by before she gets up and hugs me. She only comes up to just below my chest, but the hug if comforting none the less.

I look at my mom and dad, my eyes pleading for a response. Something. Anything. I just want to know that they're okay.

My dad stands up, walks around the circle, and places a hand on my shoulders.

Tears teased his eyes, he stared right at me. He takes a deep breath.

"Welcome to the family my...my son."

I look up at him, then let out a teary laugh. He pulls me into a bear hug, nearly choking me.

"Well," he said, "we should probably go in and eat!"
My mom, still silent, not looking up, stood up and followed us inside.

I hear my grandmother mumble in French to my grandfather.

"Alors le petit ami es gay."

We sit down, my sisters on either side of me, Bella jittering with excitement of not having to keep this secret for me anymore, and Estelle, holding my hand, asking me all about my boyfriend and how she's so exited that she has a brother. I told them that my preferred name was Jackson, but they could still call me Jack.

Mom still doesn't say anything.

We get through the meal, carrying on like normal, mom still being quiet, only piping up to offer more food. The dinner wrapped up and everyone was in the kitchen washing dishes. I feel a hand around my wrist. I look up and see my mom guiding me to the living room. 

"I know I've been worrying you all night, and I'm sorry for that. I just..it's...it's a lot to take in."

"Ah, yeah."

"But I still support you! And I just want you to know..."

She took a minute to think and get her words together.

"When I was pregnant with you, everyone would ask me 'Do you want it to be a boy or a girl?' I always said 'It doesn't matter, so long as it's happy and healthy.'"

She looked me in the eyes. There was caring energy radiating from every bit of her essence.

"That hasn't changed after all these years."

A lump formed in my throat, my eyes welled with tears, and I hugged her and cried and cried. Of course, she started crying when I started crying, so we just hugged each other and cried for a bit.

"So, does this mean you'll visit for Christmas?" she sniffed.

"Yeah, I will."

"And you'll bring your boyfriend?"
"I'll try, mom. I'll try."

Author's note:

Wow, okay, so this the last of the Autumn Anecdotes! Vote if you liked this chapter and I'll be doing a Q&A about the stories next week, so comment anything you want answered!

Happy Autumn!