always...

chapter 4 - nishinoya

nishinoya checked his watch. hmm...5 miles in 32:27. he kept up his running pace as he approached the long uphill road near karasuno, reaching up to adjust his earbuds.

he was listening to a playlist that he had asked suga to make for him. it was called "build a bridge" because suga kept telling him that he had to cry himself a river, build a bridge, and get over it. "it" being his unrequited feelings for asahi.

it took all the strength i had not to fall apart

kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart

and i spent oh-so many nights just feeling sorry for myself

i used to cry

but now i hold my head up high and you see me

somebody new...

wow, suga really makes the best playlists, noya thought to himself.

good as hell by lizzo came on next, to which noya lip synced all the lyrics to as he continued on his morning run.

if he don't love you anymore

just walk your fine ass out the door

and that's what noya planned to do.

flashback - mid april

"i-i like you asahi. and i have for the last two years. i've always admired you...everything about you...i can't explain it asahi, but i really like you and i was wondering if you want to go out with me?"

noya looked down at his shoes, anxiously waiting for asahi's answer.

"yū, listen. i...i'm really sorry, but i don't like you like that. we're friends and i don't want to ruin that either. we've always had each other's backs and i don't want that to change. if something ever happened between us and ruined the trust that we have i-"

"just stop. i get it. i'm sorry," nishinoya mumbled. tears were quickly forming in the corners of his eyes as he abruptly turned and walked away from the ace, trying to hide the pain showing on his face.

asahi stood there and watched him walk away, not knowing what else to do. he's strong, he'll be okay...asahi told himself.

he's noya, he's the strongest person i know. he'll be okay...he repeated, trying to reassure his own guilty feelings.

end flashback

all noya wanted to do these days was run. running helped blow off all the extra steam he felt even after practicing receives off of blocked spikes for 3 hours straight.

after he finished his run, he went back to the club room and changed into fresh clothes for morning practice. as he left the room, he spotted asahi coming up the stairs. turning his head down at the floor, noya quickly brushed past the taller guy and rushed to the gym.

goddamn it...why am i still acting so petty? i'm getting over him right? i shouldn't still be trying to avoid him like this, like an immature kid. the libero tugged at his hair, twirling his bleached streak around his index finger anxiously.

as he walked towards the gym, hinata and kageyama were already arguing about who got there first. daichi and suga had just arrived too, having just unlocked the doors for the two first years who sprinted inside.

tsukishima and yamaguchi walked inside next, tsukki with his headphones on while tadashi followed close behind. ennoshita, kinoshita, and narita entered as well with tanaka jogging in behind them. kiyoko and yachi arrived alongside takeda-sensei and coach ukai.

seeing his teammates each day gave nishinoya a sense of comfort; something routine and dependable that he could rely on to make him feel some sort of normalcy in his life and temporarily forget about his other complicated emotions.

suddenly, he felt a presence behind him. realizing it was asahi, noya quickened his steps and entered the gym. he walked over to kageyama and hinata who were setting up the net as ukai began an announcement.

"alright boys, i know daichi already told everyone, but we have a practice game with nekoma this friday! make sure you're on time, that's all i ask," ukai said.

thank god, something i can forward to this week.

noya flipped a switch in his head and suddenly appeared seriously calm and focused.

i'll show him...i'll show him that i don't need him...that i can find someone better who actually cares about me.