That Girl Who's Dying

1~ Dying

"She sure doesn't look like she's dying," They whispered to themselves. "She doesn't even look sick, for that matter." I kept my eyes to the ground, feet shuffling across the corridor dejectedly. I was used to it. I didn't cut in to defend myself. The whispers would just continue after that. Even worse, perhaps.

Let's hope that wouldn't happen.

I made my way to class and sat in my seat. As the teacher called for us to take out our textbooks to read, I flipped mine open, but didn't concentrate. I was too lost in my own what if thoughts.

What if I was never born with this cancer? What if I could be normal?

But no. That was impossible. I couldn't change things. No one could. The only way would be to get a donation, but donations were scarce these days.

As I was lost in my own thoughts, my teacher, Ms Smith, came over.

I tensed. Was she about to punish me for not listening?

"Kara, are you alright?" She asked. I know you are going through some..." she paused to think. "Difficulties right now, but would you care to at least try and listen?" She asked, not unkindly. I nodded and apologized profusely.

That's when the coughing started.

I didn't know what happened really. All I knew was that one moment, my table was clean. But the next, it was speckled with blood.

My throat was caught. It was hard to even breathe. I just kept on coughing my lungs out as people stared in shock. My throat hurt. Ms Smith looked like she was about to scream.

"Kara!" Alice rushed to my side. "Are you alright?" I didn't even bother to answer. The answer was obvious enough.

The coughing escalated to full-on retching. My school uniform was damp with blood and it probably would not wash off. My table was a complete mess - crimson covered the entire thing. I stared in horror at the scene that lay before me, before resuming my vomiting.

A few classmates screamed.

That half an hour until ambulance arrived felt like decades.

"Everyone step aside, make room for her!" I heard someone shout, but I was too exhausted and I didn't bother to look up. Soon, I blacked out.

***

"Hey, you awake." The smiling face of my older brother greeted me as I woke from my peaceful slumber. "You feeling better?"

I looked around. I was in a mildly-decorated hospital room. There was a heart-rate monitor on the table beside me, with the graph showing consistent heart-rates. Around me, paintings of waterfalls and flowers were hanging on the beige walls.

The beige and white theme of the hospital made me feel like I was safe, comfortable. Instead of the usual clean and modern hospital room, this one gave off a 'homey' kinda vibe.

"Yeah. I'm feeling better. Kinda." I replied hesitantly. Kai grinned. "So...better than when you were vomiting your heart out?" I winced but smiled. "Yeah, better than that."

His cheerful expression turned into a moody one. "Kara, I'm worried. Your cancer has been showing up more lately." I grimaced. "Well, what can I do? I have to deal with it, head on."

Kai smiled widely.

"That's my girl," he laughed and ruffled my hair. I grinned bigger than I had in a month. Kai always managed to cheer me up.

The nurse came into the room.

"Kara? You awake already?" She seemed surprised. "Well, normally, people in the same situation as you take a few days to wake up! For you, it's barely been an hour!" I raised my eyebrows, unsure of whether to be happy or not.

As if reading my mind, the nurse sighed. "I'm not sure if that's a good thing, but the fact that you recovered quickly should be a good sign! It means your body's immune system is high." She explained.

I thought for a moment. This was good. It meant I had a higher chance of pulling through this. For the first time in a few years, I felt a glimmer of hope rise.

What the nurse said next made me deflate like a balloon.

"However, the cancer you were born with is hard to recover from. I'm sorry, Kara. If we can't find you a donation before long..." she trailed off, eyes staring into space.

I shook my head, unable to accept what I just heard.

So, I would be Dying Girl from now on.

I might be Dead Girl soon.