𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐎𝐌 | 𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐱 𝐎𝐂

A word to the wise

[AN:

Songs: "Poison" by Brent Faiyaz, "Pacify her" by Melanie Martinez]

LEVI'S POV (from the night before)

I tried to slow down my breathing. I was panting.

"C'mon captain, it's time to go to sleep, right?" she whispered softly, like she was trying to reassure me. I could sense her eyes traveling all over me, but I couldn't even dare to look at her, so I continued staring at the door's handle beside her right arm. Then I saw her raising her hand to her chin, massaging slowly all the way to her jaw and cheek too. Did I hurt you? I hurt you. Why did I react like that? What got into me all of a sudden?

I grabbed her hand. It was my fault. I shouldn't have acted like that. I'm sorry. Daphne, I'm sorry.

While I stopped her right hand with mine, I slowly raised the other one, cupping her cheek. Her skin felt so smooth... so silky under my touch. Did I hurt you? Then, I placed my palm on her neck, moving slowly my thumb on her jaw. Does it hurt? Tell me where it hurts. Daphne, I'm sorry.

I wanted to tell her, to tell her how sorry I was but my pride silenced me. I only stared at her.

Her eyes trembled. As far as I could tell she wasn't sad or even afraid, she rather looked... embarrassed? Her cheeks got suddenly red. Maybe I am actually making her uncomfortable. I should stop. I should just let her be. And so I did.

I sighed soundly and after stroking her cheek once more I left, without saying a word. What a coward. I really was.

I quickly rushed into my room, shutting the door behind me with all my strength.

What got into me? What was I thinking? Conflicted thoughts populated my mind. I'm sorry.

I know I should be suspicious of her. We still can't fully trust her. Even though... She is actually behaving herself. Since we arrested her, she didn't anything wrong. She's always neat, her uniform tidy, and her scent, her scent it's making me going crazy these days. She smells really good, like something sweet and warm. Anyway...she's never late or rude to anyone – well except for those who deserve it... and me. I quite deserved it too. I wasn't the nicest to her either.

She did well at her training sessions, during the assembly and then she even helped Hange and Eren. The way that night she apologized for Farlan and Isabel, what kind of criminal do such a thing? She's probably a decent human being.

And yet, I needed to make all this up, act bossy all the time with her to test her, to test her loyalty. I should just continue like this, after all, I am the captain and I should be impassive with her. I cannot make exceptions. I cannot, even if she smells good. Even if she comes from the underground, just like me. Even if she worked as a prostitute, just like my mum. How could I possibly forget what she told me last time? I'm the only one who can actually imagine the pain she's been through.

And yet, I acted like a dick all the time. That being said, I can't even treat her better just because I pity her or else... Even though, I don't think is pity what I feel for her... However, four-eyes is right for once, I should just cut her some slack. If I want her to trust us, I firstly should trust her.

First thing in the morning I picked Eren up and we went to the cafeteria. This time, as I was preparing Daphne's breakfast, I foolishly thought about getting her a bigger plate, full of everything I could have found there before that flock of brats came. What am I even doing? I'm glad Eren didn't ask me anything about it. He was still too afraid of me to stick his nose in my business... and to be honest, I didn't even know what I could have ever answered if he'd asked. What am I even doing?