I am a Riddle | Draco Malfoy, 18+

N i n e,

This chapter contains scenes of self-harm. Please read with caution.

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'' She's gone.''

I stumbled back out of Narcissa's hold, feeling my spine colliding with the door. My face twisted in disbelief as every thought imaginable flashed through my mind,

This can't be happening.

My eyes pooled as I fought my urge to cry, " How—,"

'' The death eaters, your father—,'' Narcissa hewed me off, as well as herself, seeking to find the courage to tell me about my mother. Both of us stood frozen, scared to realize the truth. '' They took her away.'' She mumbled, stretching her hand to her ashen face to wipe the tears off her cheek,

My mind sought clouded by her words,

I couldn't think clearly. Everything my head flashed was my mother's last words to me,

'' Now go. I'll stay safe here. Don't worry about me. It's my job to worry about you.''

This is all my fault. I shouldn't have left her.

This was my job, not hers.

It was reckless of me to leave her alone in these mad times. I was supposed to stay with her — I knew that, and yet I did. I left her. She spent my entire life taking care of me, guarding me, keeping me protected. I was everything to her, and I couldn't keep her safe even when she needed me to.

Narcissa's eyes leveled mine, seeking words to express her sorrows, but she wasn't able to. She stood blank, empty, hollow — just like I did. I felt the color draining from my face, " Why?" I uttered through trembling lips, " Why would they do that?"

She shook her head, swallowing thickly, ''Leiah, your father; he—,'' She pleaded, and I could tell how hard it was for her to speak about this. Both her and my mother always tried to spare us the torture of knowing. " The dark lord is capable of many cruel things, dear. I'm not certain there even is a reason to why he would do something—," She held her breath as she fought the tears,

My heart broke into millions of pieces, and every breath heaved heavier, my chest narrowed. My fingers clenched into fists, nails scoring in my palms to feel the pain and the relief that followed,

But nothing, everything hurts just as much at this moment. " I can't, Narcissa —, I can't lose her—," I cried out. My mind missed me as my hands roughly tugged at my hair, tears drowned my pale cheeks,

And then, I cried, I sobbed, I let it all out.

It wasn't possible to stay strong, not when everything within crumbled, everything came rushing down.

Narcissa tried her best to comfort my trembling self, but I shoved her off every time she closed in. I wasn't strong enough for this; my mother was the strong one. She was the one to take care of me — a shaky whimper left my lips as I buried my head in my bleeding palms. Every feeling possible chewed my bones, ached my heart, soared my core.

The pain felt overwhelming,

I was about to give up, give in to my mind, letting my thoughts get the best of me as my knees raised to fail me,

Darkness.

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My head is pounded in hurt as my mouth felt dry — a cough escaped my lips, slightly pushing my eyes open, only to be greeted by the numbness circling me, the feeling of losing something chewed within but no recollection of what came to mind,