Lord Day and Lady Night

50. Surprise Hospital Inspection

Striding towards the door, Lord Patrick Day cocked his head, conveying the question with his eyes.

Are you ready?

Nodding, Amy rose to her feet and drew her pistol.

Yes.

Lord Patrick smiled. Drawing his own weapon, he strode past her, squeezing her shoulder in passing. "I'll take point. You cover me."

"Oh, with pleasure. But I think I'll wait till da two of us are at 'ome and in yer warm, comfy bed."

His Lordship's steps faltered for just an instant, then sped up. And his ears were definitely not heating up. No, absolutely not!

Only a few steps down the tower, however, his steps slowed down again. The sound of snoring issued from not far ahead down the stairs.

"Seems like they do not particularly consider you a flight risk, do they?"

"Aye. Either dat, or 'e's not guarding anything, just waiting for 'is turn to 'ave fun." Lord Patrick Day heard a click from behind him, followed by a dark chuckle. "Let's give dem a wake-up call, shall we?"

"Agreed." Raising his blade, Lord Patrick pressed himself against the wall and started inching down the steps. It didn't take long before, from around the bend, a man slouched on a chair came into view, snoring loudly. Lord Patrick raised his sword—and hesitated.

"What da 'ell are ye waitin' for?" Amy hissed.

"Well...I...I mean he's sleeping. I can't just stab a man who's sleeping!"

"Why not? It's much easier dan when 'e's awake, trust me."

Lord Patrick Day wondered if it would help if he tried to explain the meaning of the word "gentleman" to her. Probably not.

"But...but we can't! It...it's simply not done!"

"By stupid people, ye mean?" Amy offered sweetly.

"No, that is most certainly not what I mean! I—"

"Nnng...what the—oy!" At the sound of the voice from behind him, Lord Patrick whirled around, just in time to witness the guard awakening from sweet dreams to a considerably less sweetened reality. "Who da 'ell are ye? What—?!"

That was the last sound he managed to squeeze out before Lord Patrick Day's sword stabbed between his ribs. The man jerked and, legs buckling under him, keeled over onto the floor. Turning back around, Lord Patrick was met with Miss Amy Weston's inquisitive gaze and raised eyebrow.

"What?" he demanded. "He had woken up!"

"So...it's not all right ta skewer a snoring fella, but it's all right ta empty a bucket of water over one and den run 'im through?"

"Essentially, yes," Lord Patrick confirmed, definitely not trying to avoid Miss Amy Weston's eyes. No, definitely not. "That is the honourable thing to do."

"Ah." She nodded. "Remind me ta never ever get honourable."

"I think there is little chance of that," Lord Patrick mumbled under his breath.

"Sorry, what was dat?"

"Nothing. Nothing whatsoever."

Quickly turning back towards the stairs, he quickly withdrew the sword from between the villain's ribs and started down the stairs again. About halfway down, to His Lordship's sincere relief, they encountered three murderous, and blissfully awake, guards. Blades flashed, a muffled gunshot echoed through the tower, and moments later, three bodies lay spread out across the stairs.