Ocean Blue [jjpope]

death doesn't let you say goodbye

JJ woke up with a headache and feeling like shit.
It had been the usual morning stuff for the past ten days, since John B and Sarah had died trying to escape for a crime they didn't commit. Ten days of drinking, smoking, crying and sleeping. JJ couldn't even remember the last time he had eaten proper food, and honestly, he couldn't give less of a damn about eating right now. Kiara had called him during the night asking for him to meet her and Pope at her parents' restaurant, and even though JJ had insisted on how he didn't want to hang out, Kiara was stubborn, and in the end he had given up and accepted.
JJ got up, his vision blurry, and picked a random shirt on his bed that he managed to put on not without struggling. He still had his pants on from last day, as well as his shoes, so he just walked out of his room after a quick check in the mirror.
Never in his life JJ had ever looked so miserable : his eyes were red from the smoking and the crying, and his usually pretty wavy blonde hair was stuck on his face from the lack of showering. He had not shaved for days, nor had he brushed his teeth or changed clothes. He was too busy grieving to actually care about such dumb stuff.
But when he walked out, as people sent him pity looks, JJ felt slightly ashamed for not taking the time to even just put on deodorant : he smelled like shit, not only from smoking but also like litteral shit, and he wondered what Kie and Pope would think of him.
Pope. JJ hadn't heard of him since the night John B had died. Though Kie called him quite a few times, Pope on the other hand had been completely, painfully silent. JJ was kinda nervous about seeing him again, even though it was unclear why; he admitted he was just nervous about the whole situation.
JJ walked in the restaurant and looked around for his friends. He caught Kiara waving at him, Pope sitting at her side. JJ's heart skipped a beat at the sight of his friend, but he ignored it as he went to join them.
JJ's heart sunk as he realized his friends looked no better than him : Kie's eyes were shot with blood, barely opened, and her usual stylish outfits had been traded for a large white shirt and bland shorts. Pope was no better than her : his dark eyes were just as tired from the lack of sleep, and it was clear he'd been crying a lot. He was wearing a dark green hoodie and sweatpants, which was clearly unusual. He glanced at JJ as he sat in front of them.
"I'm glad you came," Kie said with a small voice. "How are you doing ?"
JJ forced a smile.
"Better than ever, as you can see."
He hadn't talked for days, and his mouth was dry as the desert; he looked around and picked an half empty beer from the table behind them.
"I know you probably don't want to hear this right now," Kie said, "but we should think about a plan to strike back."
JJ pushed the now empty beer away from him.
"What do you mean, to strike back ?
- I mean we should think about a strategy to get Rafe to pay for his actions." Kie's voice was harsh and filled with rage as she almost spit his name.
"But what exactly can we do though ?" JJ asked. "The police didn't trust us once. I don't think they are going to trust us now just because John B is..."
JJ stopped, letting the silence complete his sentence for him. Kie looked down at her hands.
"JJ is right," Pope said after a while. "I know how you're feeling, Kie, i really do. And i want to get justice for our friends. But all this rage... It's dangerous, and useless. It won't bring them back."
Kie looked up at Pope as if he just slapped her. She got up quickly as tears fell down her face, and cried :
"Don't tell me how to grieve !"
She rubbed her eyes to take the tears away, and walked out without another word. Pope watched her leave with a sigh.
JJ felt slightly anxious about being alone with Pope; they hadn't had an occasion to talk since the tragedy. They were not mad at each other or anything ; both of them had just been busy grieving and processing the whole situation. At least JJ wasn't mad at Pope, and he really hoped Pope wasn't mad neither.
"So," Pope said softly, "how are you doing ?"
JJ shrugged. Pope nodded.
"Yeah, same. It's good to see you, though. I missed you."
JJ felt something strange in his stomach as Pope finished his sentence. The same kind of butterflies he had once felt when a girl kissed him, or months ago when he would have a crush on Kie and she would smile at him. What the hell was wrong with him ? That was just Pope. JJ admitted it was just his foggy mind playing tricks on him.
"Yeah. Long time no see."
After a short silence, JJ asked :
"At least you two have each other. I'm happy you made it through together.
- We aren't exactly doing well lately," Pope confessed. "We all deal with loss in different ways, but the way she's been obsessed with revenge... i don't like it. But it's still comforting to have her by my side."
Pope took JJ's hand in his, causing JJ to have butterflies again.
"Don't forget you'll always have us, too."
JJ and Pope shared a long, silent look. A look that said more than a hundred words.
Even though John B officially responded to the appellation "JJ's best friend", JJ had always been very close to Pope. When John B was too self-centered to listen to JJ's problems, JJ would turn to Pope, who would listen all along and give him comfort and advice. With time passing, JJ had started to naturally turn to Pope whenever he wanted to discuss a serious topic, and the two boys had created a very close bond. JJ liked how Pope would never judge him or never mock him whenever he would come to him crying because his father had hit him again.
One night, JJ had called Pope at 2am asking him if he could sleep at his place for the night. Pope had answer that they should meet by the cliff since it was pretty warm. Pope had healed JJ's wounds silently as JJ was uncontrollably crying, and when JJ had finally calmed down, Pope had just held his hand in comfort until JJ fell alseep. The next morning, JJ was embarasssed by how weak he had been, and thought Pope was going to mock him for being a crybaby. But instead, Pope never brought the topic up again, and never talked about what happened to anyone. JJ was still grateful for that years later.
After a while, JJ got up, breaking both the eye and the hand contact.
"I think i'm going to head home," he said, his voice slightly shaking. "You should go and check on Kie."
Pope looked at JJ and nodded. He got up and, before JJ realized, pulled him into a hug.
JJ's body and mind exploded with a thousand emotions and feelings; he had never felt like this before. For the first time in two weeks, he felt alive again.
Pope was holding him tight and close, very close. JJ could smell his deodorant and shampoo. Orange, with a hint of salt and mint. This was closer to home than any place would ever be.
JJ broke the embrace, embarassed and concerned by his reaction to what just happened.
This was simply a friendly hug, so why did his body react as if it was so much more ?
JJ stammered some goodbye words and walked out of the restaurant without looking back.
When he got back to his house, he fell onto his bed with a sigh. For once, he wasn't thinking about John B. His head was full with what had happened at the restaurant, and with the realisation of what he had been feeling.
He was in love with Pope.

•×•×•

Hi guys !
First of all, thank you for clicking on my story ! It's not my first time on Wattpad, but i hadn't posted anything in a while before creating this account... I gotta admit i'm kinda nervous ! :')
Please leave comments about your thoughts on this first chapter whether it's positive or negative. Feedbacks are always appreciated and i want this story to be as pleasing as possible for you ! <3
Next chapter will probably be out during the week. I will try to post at least two chapters a week, but i also have other stories i'm working on so it might be one chapter a week.
Until then, bisous ! ❤️❤️
- maygreeves