Until Forever

14

Tris's POV
I wake up and find that I am in our bedroom. Tobias must have carried me up here sometime last night. The space next to me empty, again. I roll over and look at the clock. It is 10:46 am on December 16th. I groan. I didn't want to sleep in today! I was going to go plan my surprise for Tobias with Christina. I get out of bed and walk downstairs. Tobias is sitting on the couch with a form in front of him. I walk behind him and kiss him on the head.

"Look who decided to wake up!" he says. I laugh.

"What's that?" I ask. He sighs. I walk around the couch so I can sit next to him. "Max is asking if I can be a Dauntless leader. I took the paper and said I'd think about it," he says looking down.

"It's okay to say no," I say. He nods.

"I know, but I feel like I owe it to Eric. He was killed for nothing," I nod. I kiss him on the cheek.

"I would love to stay here with you," I say. "But I promised I would help Chris with something." He nods. I feel bad lying to him, but it's a surprise for him so I guess it's okay. "I'm going to go get ready. You should go hang out with Zeke," I say. He smiles.

"Okay. I see you later then?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say. "I love you." He kisses me and I kiss back.

"I love you too," he says.

As I head back upstairs to get ready, I hear Tobias leave. Perfect. Zeke is supposed to keep him away all day so that Christina and I can set up. I quickly get ready. I wear a skin-tight black dress, that shows off my bump, with a black and white flannel. I do a darker smoky eye and leave my hair in loose waves. I pull on my combat boots and head to Christina's. This is going to be a crazy day.

Tobias's POV
As I leave the apartment, I'm left wondering, why did Tris say I should go to Zeke's? Is she planning something? Oh well, I think. I slowly make my way to the fear landscape room. I haven't gone in there in a while. I figure Zeke is probably still asleep so it won't matter. Once I get there, I inject myself with the familiar liquid. A moment later, I am on top of the building. I quickly make my way through the first two fears, heights and claustrophobia. When I get to the third fear, it is no longer shooting an innocent woman. Now I must shoot Tris. My heart rate picks up as I hold the cold gun in my hand, pointing it at Tris. My Tris. This isn't real, I remind myself. I turn my face away and pull the trigger. Tris's head whips back and her body slumps against the ground.

The fear landscape moves on and I find myself in Abnegation. I look around for Marcus, but I don't find him. A moment later, a small girl appears in front of me. She is very young, maybe four or five years old. She looks familiar but I don't know why. Then, involuntarily, I move toward her.

'River', a voice coos. I realize it's my voice, but I'm not speaking. 'This is for your own good'. Suddenly I am taking my belt off. I try to stop but I can't. The girl, River, backs up into the corner.

'No, no!' She pleads.

'This will teach you to be better,' I say. My hand whips back and I strike her with the belt. Once. Twice. Then, it's over.

I jolt forward as I come out of the simulation, my whole body shaking. I look down and can almost picture the belt in my hand. I can still hear River's pleads and screams. I try to blink away the memory, but every time I close my eyes, I see my future daughter cowering away from me. It's just a fear, I tell myself. I would never hurt River or Tris. I sit in the corner of the room and regain my composure before I head over to Zeke's apartment. I try to steady my shaking hand by pressing them to my legs. I try to slow my breathing. I feel tears starting to form behind my eyes but I blink them away. Zeke can't see me like this. I do the only thing I know how to. I turn off all emotion. I go into, what Tris calls, 'scary Four instructor mode'. I block the whole world from my mind. The walk to Zeke's apartment is just a daze. I knock on the door.

"There you are," I hear him say. I nod. Zeke pulls me inside and starts rattling on about something, but I don't listen. How can I when River's scrams still fill my head?

Zeke's POV
"Earth to Four," I say waving my hand in front of his face. "Hey, buddy, you there?" Four snaps out of whatever daze he was in.

"Sorry," he mumbles. There is something bothering him, but I can't tell what. I decide not to ask.

"It's alright," I say instead. "So Tris is supposed to come to get you around 6 tonight. We can just play games and eat cake until then." Four just nods.

The rest of the day goes by somewhat slowly. Four becomes more like himself after we have some cake. We play games that I stole from an old storage unit in Dauntless. Four even manages to drag me to the training room to punch and throw knives. It seems to help him deal with whatever was bothering him. The rest of the day was just spent lying around the apartment. At 6:00, there is a knock on the door. Four jumps up and opens it, revealing an excited Tris.