Criminal Minds/ Cross overs Imagines

It should've been me~Luke Alvez

⚠️WARNING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND ATTEMPTED SUICIDE⚠️

IF YOU'RE SUICIDAL PLEASE TALK TO SOMEONE I HAVE MY MESSAGES OPEN SO YOU CAN TALK TO ME

SUICIDE HOTLINE NUMBER:(800)-273-8255

I love you ❤️💙🤍

~

"Jordan Halloran FBI put down the gun" SSA Luke Alvez said bursting through the door
"No I'm saving her" Halloran says
"Hurting those kids won't help you. It's not what she would've wanted" I said
"Now, Garcia" Emily whisper-yelled into her mic. Not even two seconds later a montage of Ashley played on the tv, the same montage that played at her funeral.
"No no no no Ashley is here!" Halloran yelled pushing the gun closer to Ruby's head
"Wait! I know what it's like to lose a child. The empty spot in your heart nothing or no one can fill. The pain, the suffering, you want it to go away, you try to push away the unimaginable, you have to try to live with the unimaginable, the guilt knowing you could've changed that outcome but you didn't. You wanted to save her I know you did, you feel like there's no way out of the pain you're feeling. You think the whole world is against you, you feel as if God betrayed you and that it wasn't your child's time to go, that you want to switch places with her. Trust me I know, it sucks. Doing this won't bring Ashley back. Please let Ruby go" I said pleading him to let Ruby go but also knowing the pain of what he's suffering

Halloran slowing and hesitantly drops his gun and Simmons arrests him while my beautiful boyfriend Luke Alvez walks over to me "hey beautiful, let's go"
~
We all decided we'd fill out our files in the conference room and all's going well until Luke speaks.

"Hey babe, I have to ask because it's in my mind and it won't go away. What did you mean 'I know the pain of losing a child' when he was trying to kill that little girl?"
"Oh we should go" Emily says motioning everyone else to get up and leave
"No, you guys were going to find out anyway. Remember my little brother I had?"
"Yeah, he was killed in front of us, I'm still sorry babe" Luke answers
"Well, that wasn't my baby brother, that.. oh umm that was my baby. My son. Our son."
"Why didn't you tell me" Luke asks heartbroken
"You were on the road and you were busy with work I didn't want to hold you back. But I swear I was going to tell you after you got back from that case"
"And then he-"
"Yeah. He was killed in front of all of us h-he was- is gone"
"What was his name?" Luke questions me in tears
"L-Luke"
"What was his name?!"
"HIS NAME WAS LUKE, LUKE."
"Did any of you guys know?!" Luke angrily questions the rest of his team
"No Luke, we didn't know. We would've told  Y/N to tell you " Emily answers for her and the rest of team
"I can't with you Y/N! WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME I HAD A SON!?" Luke yells
"I'm sorry, Luke I can't ever take it back. I can never take back not telling you. I wish I could, I wish I wasn't such a baby. I wish I could've switched places with him, Luke trust me. Your happiness is everything to me." I say tears falling down my cheeks
"No. I can't even look at you. Don't come home."
"Luke-"
"No" Like says storming out from the conference room
"I'm so sorry, Y/N, I will go talk to him" Matt says hugging me. I couldn't say anything between my sobs so I just nodded
"You can stay with me" Penelope said in tears
"T-than-k you P-Penelo-pe" I say through my sobs
"I'm so sorry Y/N, I could never imagine losing Henry or Michael I'm sorry you had to go through losing little Luke" JJ said also in tears hugging me tight
"Oh I'm so sorry too" Emily says joining the hug
"Oh you can tell me everything you want when we get to my place" Garcia said also sobbing
~
It's been a week since Luke found out that my "baby brother" was actually our son that died and he still hasn't even looked in my direction and it hurts me. I've been living with Garcia I love living with her because she makes everything better just by looking at you, but Luke not talking to me hurts. He can't even have a normal conversation when someone says my name or mentions me and it sucks and then I started having thoughts.. thoughts that Luke would've killed me for having. Thoughts that make any person go "oh my I think we should get you help", thoughts that taunt you all and all night. Thoughts that God is upset that you have to deal with it.