6. Triggered

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As expected, Soobin couldn't get any sleep. He considered asking for the day off, but without any medical symptoms they wouldn't let him skip that day's rehearsal, for sure, and that's why he got up and dressed early, so that no one would notice how irregular his state of mind was at the moment.

My career is the priority, he kept repeating to himself.

Still, he was capable of remaining as cold-headed as possible, and that was the reason he could tell for sure... that his thoughts were a complete mess. Soobin was neither stupid nor oblivious, and he couldn't simply pretend the conversation with Yeonjun the night before hadn't been a confession... But, for what?

What did the other boy gain out of telling him about his feelings? It wasn't like they could get into a romantic relationship. Besides, didn't they already have enough things to worry about, health and work-wise, to add romantic feelings on top of that?

None of that made sense unless...

Unless he's making fun of me.

Even though Yeonjun was one of the kindest people Soobin had met, they both wouldn't have become idols if they weren't mentally mature enough to focus on their career over anything else, or if they didn't know that a single, seemingly small mistake could ruin everything they'd been working so hard for years. And on top of it all, belonging in the industry required fierce competition, even between the members of the same K-Pop group.

And that was the reason why, since the night before, a dark thought had been taking form inside Soobin's mind. The idea that the Yeonjun he knew was just a façade, and the elder was trying to throw him off balance. After all, his hyung was always talking about raising their popularity, comparing "bias" statistics, and coming up with ways to look more appealing to the fans. And that's the reason why he's always over me and encouraging all of us to feed the shipping culture.

Soobin and Yeonjun were the two most "biased" members of TXT, and so it was a very dark thought, but not impossible, that the elder was trying to put more stress on him in order to make him underperform.

The idea alone made him sick to his stomach.

After all, the Yeonjun he knew was what Soobin adored the most...

He brushed the thought aside, put his hand on the dance practice room door handle, took a deep breath and entered the place.

The first thing he heard was Huening Kai's laugh. The maknae was sitting in the middle of the room, with his back to the entrance, conversing. Taehyun was also there, stretching near a corner of the room. But the one sitting in front of Kai, looking directly at the door, was Yeonjun.

Soobin could've sworn the smile on the elder's face banished for a second when he entered the room, but he figured he had just imagined it when the other raised his arm energetically and exclaimed: "Yo, Soobin, you're up!"

Huening Kai and Taehyun also turned their faces and smiled at him.

"We're waiting for Beomgyu.", the latter said, "Apparently we'll be filming the dance practice version today."

Soobin held back a sigh, and walked to another corner of the room to start stretching.

"Is something the matter, hyung?", asked Kai.

"Not at all", he answered coldly, avoiding everybody's gazes.

Beomgyu joined them around then minutes later, and when the instructors arrived they practiced the choreography a couple of times. Then they all took a shower and got their clothes and makeup ready to start filming. Unfortunately for Soobin, that day's version would be a vertical video, which meant all members would stand in a line and take turns going to the front to perform a couple of seconds of the choreography, as well as adding a little acting and goofing around when possible. It was still way better than having to film a TO-DO episode, he thought, because at least this way he didn't have to interact too much with the rest, let alone speak or touch Yeonjun.

Or so he thought.

The music started playing and the performance was going smoothly. The five boys were rookies but that didn't mean they acted like such.

Soobin was having a little hard time concentrating, but he was professional enough to separate his feeling and his stress from his work, at least when he was performing, and even if it was only a dance version video.

Around the third chorus, he was standing in the line behind Yeonjun, looking at his feet and counting the precise amount of seconds until it was his turn to step to the front again. When the verse and the timing was right, he prepared to step in as soon as the other boy had moved aside, but he wasn't given a chance to do so.

Instead of that, Yeonjun turned around gracefully, a smirk on his face, positioned his fingers under Soobin's chin, and brought his face to the younger's so close than the side of their noses touched.

Gasping and completely losing focus, Soobin instinctively tried to step back but stepped on his own foot, lost balance and fell to the floor landing on his butt.

Yeonjun's smirk banished from his face, and he rushed to offer a hand for Soobin to grab.

"Sorry!", the hyung apologized, speaking not just to the guy on the floor, but to everyone. Although he looked like he cared, his tone lacked emotion.

"Are you OK, Soobin?", the director asked from behind the camera.

"Yes, sorry." He hurried to stand up, making an active effort to simply ignore the hand Yeonjun was offering him, instead of slapping it away.

His own fingers and lips started trembling from anger. He clenched his teeth, trying to stay composed.

"Yeonjun, please remember to let us know beforehand if you're going to involve others in your part of the performance."

"Yes, director, I'm very sorry", he answered, but his tone was still off.

Soobin couldn't find the will power to calm himself down, and asked for permission to rest for a couple of minutes, alleging that his muscles hurt a little bit from the fall.

He walked away from the crowd to drink some water and compose himself. He had probably never been this angry in his life, but managed to stay professional in front of the entire crew. Someone from the staff had hurried to check him for injuries and Soobin pointed a random point in his back and explained that he didn't feel any pain after a few seconds but wanted to make sure it wasn't gonna swell and affect his perfomance.

After the couple of minutes he had been granted, he apologized and went back to his place, preparing for the next take.

"Yeonjun," Soobin said as they got into their positions, "I'll see you in the music room after the shooting."

The elder didn't spare a glance at him, nor did he answer.

"Ohhh... There's going to be a fight", Kai said, letting out a chuckle, but no one reacted to his joke.

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