20.01.2021
For a while now I have been wondering
What it would be like the day I pass away
It's a peculiar thought indeed
But the transition from a child to a young adult got me thinking about death
More often than I would like I find myself
Laying on a coffin
Buried six feet under
And I think to myself what would the people I love do?
What would their reactions be?
Will mother wail like her sisters who have lost their children
Will father shed a tear or more
Will my siblings feel guilty of something
Will I feel guilt in not completing anything
Will my internet friends know that I died
Will they come to my funeral
Will that be the occasion when they meet my family for the first time
Will my childhood friends come
Who will come to my funeral?
Will they lay me down with all my belongings?
Will they run an autopsy on me?
All the unanswerable questions
Roaming on my head like the winter winds
Returning once every while to knock me back and forth
To remind me that I indeed will die
One way or another
For I chose to believe that I will die at peace
No one knows what the afterlife is
No one can truly say anything about it
For those who knows thr afterlife
Are no one but the passed themselves
Will I ever be remembered?
Will they forget me as a healing process?
Will they stop coming to my grave?
Are we even really dead?
But one thing is there for sure
And that thing being my will
My last request for my safe departure to the unknown
Let everyone who attends my funeral come in colourful clothes
Drink around
Joke about
Have fun
Don't cry for me
Bring me boquets of tiny daisies and dandelions
Bring me letters
Act as if it's my birthday
For if you don't seem happy atleast on the outside
I myself don't want to go.
I fear death greatly
I fear what is there in the afterlife
For all the sins I've committed
Shall press me down and lead me to my doom
So the last thing I shall ask them to
To anyone who knows me
Is to smile
Drop messages on my dms if you miss me
Act like I'm still there
Ignore the fact that this body of mine is no longer warm and alive
Continue your life as if I'm away for summer camp.
And don't ever forget me
Remember me in odd situations
Laugh about my dumb-assery
Joke about my clumsiness
Act like I'm still there
Don't let me die
Don't let me go
Don't
