No Promises

chapter twenty-six

IT FEELS LIKE I'm living in a fever dream, unable to get my head out of the clouds. Somehow, everything I've been dreaming of since I first laid eyes on this boy is happening. He's kissing me. I'm kissing him. He's holding me in his arms and I hope that I never have to leave.

I'm in heaven.

Absolute heaven.

And because I'm me, and because I can't help myself, I have to start thinking again. Is this too complicated to actually work? I mean, sure, we're attracted to each other. The chemistry is there. The flirtation of something good is kindling. There are good roots here to build something solid, and the thought of it gives me butterflies.

We could have something real.

But then I start to think about all the things that could go wrong. Greyson is amazing, he's nothing short of incredible. I could fall for him and fall hard. And that's exactly why it could ruin everything. Stevie is my best friend in the entire world. She's kind, and caring, and when I had no one, she was there. If things end poorly with Greyson, not only would I be hurting my relationship with Stevie—pinning her between Greyson and me—but it could also hurt her relationship with Greyson. It's a lose-lose situation.

And I hate that I can't even give myself a minute to enjoy this before everything went up in flames. My head throbbing in disappointment, my stomach stirring as I move my hand to his cheek, and gently pull away, gasping for air.

"Wait, wait," I whisper. "We should stop."

He shakes his head and peppers my jaw with kisses, and everything in me is screaming to just hold on to this moment. Forget the rest of it. It doesn't matter, but it does. Stevie would never be okay with it, and I wouldn't ever want to put her in a position where she feels trapped in a decision. That she needs to pick between me and her brother.

"Grey," I say quietly, brushing my thumb over his jaw.

He pauses, sensing my hesitation as he pulls away enough to reach my eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No," I say. "No, don't be. It's not that... it's just us, this, it's complicated."

"Don't," he says, kissing me again. "Don't complicate it."

I meet his fierce blue eyes, and I lose all my senses. I can't think straight when he's looking at me like that, and it forces me to untangle from him. Taking a small step around him to put some distance between us, and I can suddenly breathe again.

"Grey, I just, it's a bad idea," I say. "As much as I don't want it to be. You and me, it's complicated. There's the Stevie of it all, and we're friends. I mean, you've become one of my best friends, and I don't want to lose that."

He stares at me for a moment longer than I would like, almost like he's considering before he sighs. "Maybe you're right."

I nod my head despite the hammering of my heart and extend my hand. "Friends?"

He looks at my hand and then my eyes, shaking his head at me before taking my hand in his. My hand fitting perfectly in his, and I begin to wonder why I enjoy torturing myself. "Friends."

In a perfect world, this would have been it. Nothing else would have mattered. We'd have each other, and everything else would fall into place, but I'm not living in that world. Instead, I'm in one where all I do is overthink and worry. Traits I'm wishing I didn't have.

Everything would be so much simpler if I could just stop thinking about everything and live in the moment for once. The air suddenly feels thick as I shift my weight, my heels clicking against the marble-like tile floor. Now that it's out there, we can't take it back, and it's left things feeling tense. The weight of the world back on my shoulders.