A Pretty Girl Next To A Pretty Girl

19. Perspective (Misana)

Mina didn't know how she and Sana ended up in this position, with Mina's back pressed up against the wall and Sana all but pinning her in place. Moments ago they were studying for their midterms in Sana's dorm room and comfortably sitting side by side on the bed when all of the sudden Sana posed a question with no warning.

"What if I kissed you right now?"

Mina's brain had basically short circuited because Sana, her best friend since freshman year of college, had followed up that question with a string of confessions that were very in line with everything Mina had ever wanted to hear Sana say.

"You're so beautiful, Mittang."

"You're the only thing I can think about lately, Mittang."

"Mittang... I think I might be falling in love with you.

Mina instantly wondered if Sana was joking, but it didn't feel like a joke with the way Sana's shimmering gaze was fully focused on her, with how Sana's lips smiled with a nervous tremble. But it did feel like Sana could read her mind, as though Sana had reached into the depths of Mina's soul and brought forth each and every word that Mina was dying to hear since the moment Mina realized that she was falling in love with Sana too.

The previously comfortable and silent atmosphere while they were studying was now a charged and overwhelming silence. Mina heard every spring in Sana's mattress creak loudly as Sana leaned in closer, but still nothing was as loud as the sound of Mina's racing heart.

"Mittang," Sana whispered affectionately. And as she reached out toward Mina with a gentle hand, licking her lips slightly for what was about to come, Mina was quite certain her dreams were about to come true.

And it was too much.

Mina jumped off the bed in a flash, pulling away from Sana's hand as though her cheek had been burned the moment Sana's fingertips grazed her. But with the way Mina's face was now ablaze with a crimson blush, she might as well have been burned. Mina carefully avoided the look of hurt that surely loomed in Sana's eyes and started to gather her things.

"I need to get going. I need to stop by the library on my way back to my room," Mina lied, choosing to ignore Sana's confession in lieu of less overwhelming topics. She hastily shoved the books and papers on Sana's bed into her bag and rushed towards the door. "Let's go over the last chapter tomorrow after class. Maybe we can invite Jihyo and Jeongyeon to study with us next ti--"

And that was when Mina found herself pinned to the wall.

In all honesty, it was a much softer action than the dull thud on the wall made it seem. There was nothing harsh about the way Sana took Mina gently by the shoulders and pulled her away from the door that Mina was so feverishly trying to escape through. Time came to a crawl as Mina stood between a wall and Sana's soft body.

Everything about Sana was soft. Everything about Sana was kind. Sana was always gentle and considerate, and it was the reason why Mina started to fall in love with her. And where Mina was worried that she had hurt Sana's feelings by ignoring the confession, it turns out Sana was more worried about Mina.

"I'm sorry, Mittang. Please don't go," Sana apologized softly, trying to catch Mina's gaze in her warm eyes. "I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable. Nothing needs to change between us if you don't feel the same way about me."

It was impossible to avoid Sana's gaze when she was just inches away, so Mina saw the moment that Sana's eyes widen at her reply. "...but I do feel the same way about you."

Mina shut her eyes after that because it was overwhelming to look into Sana's gaze. The grip Sana had on her shoulders suddenly tightened under trembling hands. Mina felt her best friend suddenly radiating with excitement, suddenly bursting with uncontrollable energy. But Mina only felt scared.

"What if I kissed you right now?" Sana asked again, much less hypothetically than the first time she asked. The question was hopefully and teeming with want. And Mina did want the kiss, but--

"Sana, you're my BEST friend," Mina said almost pleadingly, trying to convey every fear she had in that one statement. Her words were thick with emotion as tears began to well up in her eyes. "What if... what if it doesn't work out?"

"What if it does?" Sana replied simply.

"But if we ever broke up--"

"What if we never do?"

Mina stopped and finally opened her eyes--and then she almost regretted it because Sana's eyes were brilliant. They were shining with optimism, with utter conviction that the world's glass was always half full and everything would work in their favor. It made Mina want to lose herself in Sana's bright vision of their future, to ignore all the worries that had stopped her from confessing to Sana's these past few months. But Mina couldn't stop herself from clinging to her biggest fear.

"Sattang... what if I LOSE you?"

The question hung in the air for a few moments, sapping away at the energy in Sana's body. With a deep sigh, Sana's excited gaze transformed into a more serious expression. "I've thought about that since the moment I realized I liked you. What life would be like if we dated and broke up and then couldn't stay friends because it didn't work out. And the thought of losing you scares me, too."

Sana reached out again, her gentle fingers caressing Mina's cheek. There was no room to run so Mina closed her eyes again as a tear slid down her cheek.

"But the thought of losing you to someone else is even worse," Sana whispered, sounding even closer than before. Mina could feel Sana's breath on her lips, could hear Sana's voice break with a depth of emotion that Mina had never dreamed Sana could carry for her. "I can't bear the idea of watching you fall in love with someone else because I was too scared to tell you how I feel. So I'm asking you again Mittang, imagine what it would be like if I kissed you right now. If it works out between us and we never break up. If you never lose me. If we wake up every morning looking at each other and we fall asleep every night in each other's arms."

Mina felt a tickle on her cheek as Sana kissed away her tears tenderly. "Imagine what it would be like if I loved you with every inch of my existence and you loved me back the same."

There were a million reasons why it wouldn't work between them. Mina had already imagined each and every bad outcome over the past few months. But with Sana so close and kissing away her tears, Mina could only think of the outcome where it all worked out.

It was warm in Sana's arms as Mina pulled her in to hug her, to hold her close and to never let go. It was all about perspective, Mina reminded herself as she thought of the beautiful future Sana was trying to write for them. She opened her eyes and gazed back at Sana with an affectionate smile that she hoped would give Sana as much strength as Sana's smile was giving her. And then Mina leaned into Sana kiss and helped Sana write the next page of a story where everything worked out they never lose each other.

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Author's Notes: Inspired by this drawing:

https://twitter.com/titsay/status/1334498963244761088?s=19