blooming in the darkness

chapter eleven

owen wakes up to the sound of footsteps moving away from his bedroom. he shifts slightly, figuring that mrs. mega had come in to check on them. he moves his arm, finding that the bed beside him is empty. frowning slightly, owen turns over and tries to get into a comfier position.

in this position is when his thoughts take a turn for the worse. he thinks about how curt left him before and could just as easily have done it again. owen has no way of knowing if curt will come back or not. then he remembers something that chimera told him a long time ago.

he remembers how chimera said that curt had only taken a week off of work before going back into the field. they said it was the "minimum length" of a grieving period an agent could take.

how could curt only take a week off if he truly loved him? if curt didn't love him then, why should owen believe he loves him now? what is the point of believing anything curt says when he's caused all of the suffering chimera had brought upon him?

owen was broken out of his thoughts by the quiet sound of the door opening and someone sliding into the room. owen didn't turn over; he knew it was either curt or mrs. mega, and at the moment, he didn't have the will to face either of them.

curt returned to where he had been lying, only to find owen awake and looking straight at him. "o? how long have you been awake?"

owen wanted to say that he'd been awake for long enough, but instead, he replied, "not too long. why did you leave?" he tried to keep a level inflection, but a bit of anger and hurt might have seeped into his tone.

"ma wanted to talk to me for a minute, so we went to the kitchen to do that."

"what about?"

curt hesitated answering for a moment, before taking a deep breath and responding, "um, us actually."

owen looked at curt fully at this, not quite understanding what he meant. "what?"

"she asked what there was... what had happened between us."

"what did you tell her?"

curt could see the worry in owen's eyes, so he responded in the best way he could. "i told her how we first met. how i first felt about you. i told her about our mission in wales. how i ended up feeling about you."

owen hesitated for a moment, before asking, "how... what was her reaction to that?"

"she doesn't care about it. she just wanted to know what was going on, rather than wanting to do something about it. if that... makes any sense."

owen nodded his head a bit, before turning to lie on his back. neither of them spoke for a moment, before owen took a deep breath and whispered, "do you remember the night that we kissed for the first time?"

curt looked at owen almost incredulously. "i don't think i could ever forget that night, owen."

owen nodded, more to himself than anything, having seemingly become invested in the grooves of the ceiling. "i assume you remember what i told you afterwards, then."

"you told me that you hadn't felt the way you did for me in a long time."

"yeah. do you remember what i said when you told me you loved me for the first time?"

"you looked at me like i was insane for talking like you didn't feel exactly the same way. you said, "no matter how far apart we are, or how often we are together, or even how long we are together, i will never love someone more than i love you right now. i will never feel cared about and loved by anyone more than i feel right now by you." in the last four years, that night... that night has been on my mind probably more than i should admit."

owen quickly glanced over at curt, only to see tears starting to form in his eyes. when curt caught owen looking at him, he looked down, trying to wipe away his tears before they had the chance to fall.

owen's finally raises at this, but only slightly. "then why did you only take a week off?"

curt looks up at owen with confusion written all over his face. "what are you talking about?"

owen turns over a bit to look directly at curt before speaking. "chimera told me that you only took a week off from work after my accident. if you loved me like you say you did, and do, why did you only take a week?" at this point, owen's face is contorted in anger, but it also has an underlying appearance of sadness. he looks like he could start crying, too.

"i didn't take a week off, o. i took off so much longer than that."

"what-"

"i didn't go back to work for four years, owen."

now owen is the one to have confusion painted all over his face. he turns back over to look at the ceiling, letting that information sink in fully.

"if you took four- if you took that much time away, why did chimera tell me otherwise?"

"they wanted to build your anger. i assume you were already angry at me, which i can understand, and they wanted to use that and make it stronger. make it more destructive. easier to use as a tool in their favor." as he's saying this, curt is looking slightly down but still in the direction of where owen is lying.

he looks up when he hears a small sniffle from owen's direction.

owen has turned away from curt, trying to muffle his crying. he has his hands over his eyes, and he's very clearly trying to be quiet. curt carefully puts his hand on owen's arm, gently pulling owen back to face him. he pulls owen's hands away from his face and holds onto them with care. curt knows that owen may not be able to run away, but he could easily tell curt to leave him alone. he doesn't want owen to feel uneasy.

curt lies back down on his side, owen's hands still in his own. owen hesitates for a moment, before turning over and moving closer to curt. as owen does this, curt lets go of owen's hands. owen stops and goes to pull away, before curt is gently wrapping owen in his arms.

owen pauses, unsure of what to do, before he wraps his own arms around curt. a moment later, owen's face is buried in curt's chest and he can feel curt's hand carding through his hair. that's when he breaks. he stops worrying about curt seeing or hearing him cry and just... lets go. he lets go of all the tears he's been holding in and lets himself hold onto the comfort of being back in curt's arms.