Heartstrings

Chapter Twelve

A/N: drinking age is 18 in the UK.

Mallory

I was sitting at my vanity, nervously chewing on a shaped fingernail. I was agonising over two necklace options, because the wrong choice could wreck my outfit. I loved making Reid's jaw drop when he saw me looking good, and jewellery options were no laughing matter. 

I could almost imagine my boyfriend, if I closed my eyes. Leaning over my chair, his chin just above my shoulder as he pointed to the one with the blue gems, explaining that it would compliment my eyes best. I chose that one in the end.

When I went downstairs, Cleo was in sweatpants on the sofa, watching a Disney movie. She looked over at me and smirked. "You're looking like a whole snack right now, Mallory."

I grinned back. "Thanks, Cleo." I spun to show her the backless element, and she cheered, whooping like I was getting laid. Which I was so not! Reid and I were taking it slow.

"Go get him!" Cleo told me. "Like I said, if you need someone to knock some sense into that boy, I'm your girl."

I smiled gratefully at my best friend. "Thanks for having my back, Cleo."

"Any time, babes. And remember," Cleo said encouragingly, "This is Reid we're talking about. He loved you. There's nothing to worry about as long as that remains true."

I resisted the urge to tell her that it wasn't true anymore. Love was a long way away from what I wanted. Emotionally blindsiding myself into thinking we were fine, wasn't working. I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down as a surge of anxiety enveloped me.

"Hey," Cleo got up from her seat to hug me, and I clutched onto her for support. "It might not be okay now, but it will be. I know it will be. Someone with a heart as big as yours needs to share it with the world. Okay?"

I managed a laugh, wiping my eyes. "Okay, Cleo. I trust you."

Fifteen minutes later, I was smoothing down the skirt of my blue dress and lightly tapping the toe of my heel on the concrete pavement as I waited for Reid to show up. At last his car pulled up, and my trepidation clawed at my chest. I felt my heart beat quicker as I locked eyes with him.

I opened the door, sitting in the passenger seat as I adjusted myself, closing the door. Reid grinned broadly at me, his eyes lighting up. "Hey."

"Hi." I said, smiling back nervously. It had been almost a month since I got ready for a date, excluding the times I went out with Reid since the accident.

His eyes wandered down my figure. "You look more gorgeous than anything I could dream up."

I smiled. "Does that mean you dream about me?"

"Every night." he said, which made me laugh. I tried to push away the thought that I dreamed of him, too. When you love someone, everything about them becomes so dear. His face, his eyes, his nose. I drank his presence in, because I could never get enough of him.

I tore my eyes away from him, taking in the street. Once I peeked back at Reid again, I found him already looking at me. I flicked his nose. "Are we going, or do you want to spend the night looking at me?"

"Don't worry, I chose a good restaurant." he said, sighing happily as he drove off. "I've been wanting to properly take you somewhere for ages."

"For some reason, it's hard to believe that you used to dislike dating." I said, smiling at him.

"That was in high school, when I was a clueless junior," Reid said, smiling reminiscently, "University is a whole new thing."

Once we got to the restaurant, everything went perfectly. Reid ensured that I was comfortable throughout our date, and conversation flowed as easily as the wine poured into our glasses. "You know, I always wondered why you held me in such high esteem." I said conversationally.

Reid looked at me with surprise in his eyes, then he laughed. "Mallory, you must have realized by now that everyone admires you. I appreciate you more because I don't know why you chose me in the first place."

"Because you're you, Reid," I said, taking his hand in mine. "That's a lot more than I need."

"You see what I mean? You're beautiful, funny, smart... amazing. I hate that I've been forced to let you go. I know that if I had my memories back, I would never let you slip out of my fingers."

I smiled weakly. "You're still a sweet talker."

"I could tell you a lot more than that." he said softly. "But I still don't know much about you. Tell me everything."

I considered him thoughtfully. "You know most of the basics. I told you at Capulet's."

"I know enough to do a pop quiz on you." Reid said with a grin.

I raised an eyebrow challengingly. "Prove it."

He cracked his knuckles, mouth tipping upwards at the corner. "Deal."

I asked Reid a range of questions, from my favourite movie to my eye color, which I had to close my eyes for, and he got them all right. 

I stared at him, amazed, and he just winked at me. "I pay attention. But I know there's a lot more to you. What about your family, do you have siblings?"

"I have a sister. But I'm not on good terms with my family."

I hadn't realized that my expression had taken on a little wistfulness as I reminisced. Reid didn't miss it, I could tell from the look on his face. He never missed anything.

So I hastily coughed and changed the subject to the university lectures we spent together. After a while, Reid regained his usual cheerfulness, smiling all too familiarly as I related various stories about us, occasionally asking questions or commenting on something with his old humor.

But this smile was always reserved for me. Now Reid gave it to everyone. But no. Even if there was a slight difference in how he was now, I appreciated him just being there with me. Even if his memories never came back.

That was when I realized that I never considered the option. What if Reid never remembered me, contrary to Jada's hopes? What if everything we shared was lost to him forever? What if fate decided we shouldn't end up together? There were too many questions. I felt myself drowning again, suffocating in my overthinking.

"Mallory? Are you alright?" Reid said in concern. I blinked at him, forcing a smile.

"Everything's fine, Reid. I just have to go to the bathroom, I'll be back in a minute.'

I stood up, forcing myself not to shake, trying to control my emotions as I walked inside the small room clustered with cubicles. Then I allowed myself to give in, leaning heavily against the mirror as I drank in the air, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I was frustrated at myself for crying so often, but this wasn't a regular situation. It didn't just happen any odd day.

The boy waiting outside wasn't my Reid. He was a stranger who looked the same, spoke in the same voice, lived the same life. Until he regained his memories, he couldn't be mine. Rebuilding a castle from broken foundations, regardless of how similar the new castle was, would never replicate the old version. Incredibly selfish though it was, I wanted my old boyfriend back.

I tried to calm myself and began to search for a back door. I needed to escape for a minute, to have space to breathe. I walked out of the bathroom, stilling my movements so I appeared calm, and eventually came across a door leading to the street. I left and circled back to the entrance, breathing in the fresh air. The tears on my cheeks dried quickly and I felt the swelling of my under-eyes quickly vanishing.

And then someone came up to me. I looked at her curiously, then my eyes widened in surprise.

"I need to talk to you." Nina said seriously.